I don't give two shits

Way of saying, I really could care less for this shit, and shut the fuck up. Wrapped up in one little phrase.

Dude #1: Hey, can you go water my plants while I'm gone?

Dude #2: I don't give two shits about your damn plants!

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y = I don't give a shit

If you use this sentence, it means you hate mathematics like me. This sentence is the ENEMY of all mathematics universe.

Teacher: So have you found the value of "Y" john?
John: Yes miss.
Teacher: Then tell me.
John: y = I don't give a shit
Class: *laugh*

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call someone who gives a shit

Don't bother me with your petty bullshit. I don't give a wrinkled rat's ass. Politer version is call someone who cares.

I think I might get fired tomorrow.
Here's a quarter. Go call someone who gives a shit.

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Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit!

Used when telling someone you obviously dont give a shit.

Used to make a slightly rude comment, sound slightly humeruos.

-RayWilliam Johnson

"I honestly don't think she's into you at all."

"Honey Badger Don't Give a Shit!"

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I could give two shits

A gramatically INCORRECT phrase that lamen (i.e. retards) use when they really mean to say "I couldn't give two shits". See could care less and couldn't care less for more of this fuckwittery.

Jerome: I could give two shits.
Lewis: You're a fucking idiot. Die.
Jerome: What?

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i could give two shits

Disregard the first dumbshit definition of this phrase. It's grammatically correct. "I could give two shits. (But I don't)"

Synonymous with "I don't care.:

"I could give two shits about that."
"hurp dont u mean you COULDN'T give two shits?"
"You are a fool."
"wat"

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I could give two shits

This is a phrase that has the same meaning as "I don't really care" or "I could care less". It is a saying of apathy and disconcern about something or someone.

So that prick over there hates me? I could give two shits about him!

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