Jonesed

To be absolutly drunk to the point where you can't lift your head out of your own pile of vomit.

Dude that kids not silly happy or bonkers that kid is fucking JONESED.

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jim joneser

A nickname for a dystopian psychopath who appears to offer utopia to lost and searching people.

That guy offering you a free ticket into Shangri La is a malignant jim joneser who will be serving you Kool Aid in no time.

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Jonesing for that hang

Something only a desperate buffoon would text Jerry Seinfeld.

Hey Jerr, I'm jonesing for that hang! Let's talk some shop.

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jonesing for a bonesing

A girl is jonesing for a bonesing when she has been deprived of sex, is desperate for male attention, and/or is simply a slut looking to get boned on any given night by any given dude. Girls that are JFAB are easily taken down by almost any guy after a few drinks and not saying anything too wild that would mess up your outstanding, essentially assumed chances.

Broski: "Dude did you take that chick to pound town last night after the bar?"

Standard Dude: "You know it. Basically talked to her for a minute or two before last call and she said we should go back to her place after I passed the "test" of remembering her name."

Broski: "Haha legit. She was clearly jonesing for a bonesing."

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Phil Jonesed

someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.

a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season

john: did you get lucky with Sasha?

tom: no she came over, we made out then she stopped and left after i got naked

john: you got Phil Jonesed

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Jim Jonesing

(v.) The act of poisoning someone's Kool-Aid.

Whenever someone makes Kool-Aid I worry about them Jim Jonesing us.

Tom Jonesing

The incredible urge to listen to Tom Jones. Usually occurs after a moment where someones actions force a Tom Jones song to mind.

*Female coworker burps*

"Woah, woah, woah, she's a lady" (best if sung out loud in response)

'Damnit, now im Tom Jonesing for some 'Thunderball''