professional crastinator

One who waits until the very last second to do anything, but still gets it done. One who will do anything and everything he/she can to put off work, including writing definitions into the Urban Dictionary. One who procrastinates in every aspect in his or her life.

"What do you do for a living?"
"Well, I'm a Professional Crastinator"
"What's that?"
"Hold on, I'll tell you in a minute."

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professional idiot

In contrast to the rank-and-file "useful idiot" (typically a disposable agitator), a "professional idiot" earns a living satisfying regime objectives. Examples include teachers, scientists, economics, and journalists promoting establishment narratives, and shock jocks and controlled-opposition figures pushing fall-back propaganda (loudly-advertised phony deplatforming pogroms may be instituted against these latter figures with declining levels of interest in order to remind you, the rube, that they exist). The professional idiot is intensely adverse to actual productive work, and invariably gravitates to careers in government and its associated parasitic organizations, or to other roles permitting him to talk for a living.

The difference between a professional idiot and a traitor is that the idiot believes in the bullshit he spouts whereas a traitor is consciously aware of the hidden goals of the entity he supports or receives compensation from. That said, the line differentiating professional idiocy from treason is amorphous, and much apparent "idiocy" is simply a cunning ruse on the part of knowing agents of influence, so much so that, for the clearest picture, the prudent observer will invert Hanlon's Razor to read thus: "Never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by malice."

"Paul Krugman is the quintessential professional idiot."

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pothead professional

A regular cannabis user who successfully pursues a professional career.

I saw my high school principal at a festival this summer; he's a pothead professional.

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professional bullshitter

noun
a person who tells lies for a living.

"This politician is a professional bullshitter."

professional noob

someone who uses cheap or stupid tatics in video games such as camping, blindly rushing and spraying bullets, but they're very very good at it

Short Form: PN - Professional Noob

damn dude, your a total PN

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gracious professionalism

This term was coined by Professor Woodie Flowers for the FIRST robotics competition. The definition has never been precisely outlined, but it's connotation is widely understood and may be summarized as this: "Competition for the sake not of destroying one another, but for the sake of bettering and improving both competitors as a result of the competition."

Lending a spare part to an opponent in order to keep them from forfeiting a match is a prime example of gracious professionalism.

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professional dumbass

Someone so stupid it’s a profession for them

You see John over there?

He thinks that’s it’s fun to eat rocks and stick things up people’s ass.

This is a professional dumbass