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A Dick-Spatula is someone who wallows in there life's misfortunes and stupid choices and uses them as justification for being a self-righteous asshole. They usually glow a gnarly "woah is me" vibe and are terribly selfish and condescending by nature.
Joel: "I was trying to make guitar music with Zach again tonight."
GF: "How'd that go?"
Joel: "Once again he just got drunk to forget about his problems and just played whatever he wanted on guitar, loud and obnoxious, tempo-less, overdriven crap, never listening to me or the other guitar player once."
GF: "Hasn't he been doing that for years?"
Joel: "Yes, yes he has...I'm beginning to think he's a real Dick-Spatula."
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When the temperature is so hot that a male would require a spatula to separate his testicles from the inside of his leg.
"Damn, man! Weather forecast indicates that its going to be spatula hot today.
The sound your dog makes with its long nails walking on tile, or some hard flooring.
Kaluha, please stop walking around with your spatula feet,I’m trying to sleep!
Van: Hey Nick i just made some Spatula Bois
Nick: Hey Aren't Spatula Bois just Shadowy Bois
Van: I guess they are!
A person that is nice and friendly on one side, but flips to mean and nasty when they don't get their way.
He acted professional to everyone, but some spatula face still talked shit about him behind his back.