no-ply toilet paper

toilet paper that is so thin that one has to make multiple folds of it before wiping. Usually found in schools, fast food joints, and government offices.

Roger: Man, I hate using the bathroom at school.

Dave: How's that?
Roger: Man, they use that no-ply toilet paper. You got to wad it up at least 4 times to protect your hands!

70👍 2👎

Republican toilet paper

The U.S. Constitution

Politicians such as Reagan, Bush41,Bush43,Ashcroft etc. seem to think the U.S. Constitution is just Republican toilet paper. They have used the war on drugs and the war on terror as an excuse to take away basic basic constitutional rights. Some examples include the Patriot Act, warrantless wire taps, property seizures etc.

1717👍 397👎

Toilet paper seeds

Little balls of toilet paper stuck to pubic hair

I went down on your mom last night and she had toilet paper seeds

Corporate Toilet Paper

Corporate Toilet Paper (CTP) - An employee that is irreplaceable, always in demand, impossible to do without, and required by every single other person at work, but is universally looked down upon and has all of the business 'crap' thrust upon them being at a rank too low to refuse it. This person is very intelligent, technical, and often has poor social skills and/or low social standing. A corporate toilet paper is never promoted due to that person's high value in a low position. In many professions this person is female due to a male dominated corporate structure of veiled misogyny.

Mary is this firm's corporate toilet paper. She's the only employee with the skills to handle the difficult 'crap' jobs and they don't promote her because of it. Her boss is an idiot, but he went to college with the president's son.

toilet paper poke

When a homo's taking a shit and purposely uses 1 ply so his finger pokes through and he finger pops himself.

I heard Lou had a toilet paper poke over your crib last night, you should kicked that fucker out.

75👍 15👎

Texas Toilet Paper

That toilet paper you find in public restrooms all over the world. Aptly named Texas toilet paper because it is rough, tough, and don't take shit from nobody.

The company switched from name brand to texas toilet paper, so now I wait til i get home to take a shit.

70👍 19👎

toilet paper touch

when you are wiping your ass and the toilet paper rips so your finger touches your asshole and possibly goes up the asshole by "accident"

dude i was taking a wet ass shit and the toilet paper was really thin so i accidentally did a toilet paper touch

21👍 4👎