Random
Source Code
Random
From the second my wife walks through the door she looks pissed off and instantly starts bitching at me for everything I do, she must be Satan.
My wife bitches about things she was fine with before we were married but now a few months into it all the sudden I am wrong and a shitbag. That bitch is Satan
106👍 100👎
When you were about to do, say or think something and your wife puts an immediate stop to it.
Mike: "Honey, I'm gonna go fishing with the guys on sunday."
Wife: "We have church on sunday."
Bob: "Dude, you just got wifed."
36👍 31👎
Wired Integrated Female Electroencephalograph
Karen is Plankton's wife, or Wired Integrated Female Electroencephalograph.
14👍 8👎
The woman a man is betrothed to. In some cases, notably among the poorly-educated in the American Deep South and the royalty in Europe, she very well be the sister or cousin of the man as well.
Redneck: I just married my cousin!
Prince John: What a coincidence, I just married my sister.
Normal people: Freaks.
95👍 115👎
A man's personal sandwich artist.
Wife: I'm going to the kitchen.
Me: Cool, bring me a sandwich, bitch.
117👍 153👎
A bunny rabbit who stole my breath away when she charged through the school doors to literally chase the sunset. The one whose ooey-gooey Hershey drop chocolate eyes I could get lost in for all time. My shahzadi. A living breathing angel. Hotter than the open flame of the bunsen burner we broke test tubes next to. The one who says she will make me an honest woman by marrying me, the forever blushing bear, in pixie hollow. My beautiful bully, my blushing bride, my notorious S.I.G.
My wife gave me the teenage romance of my dreams, and for that and not that alone, I love her very very much. Je t'aime, mon ange.
-Nora
11👍 6👎
To be 'wifed'. To be unable to participate in any form of bloke entertainment, due to hassles from one's wife.
'Sorry lads, I can't go to the football match. I'm wifed!'
36👍 45👎