bmw driver syndrome

When a certain type of mae purchases a BMW motor vehicle an they somehow seem to think they're suddenly better than every other motorist. They cause much discomfort and anger amongst other drivers.

Paul: What's this? He just cut me up!

Susanne: Darling, you're forgetting that he is driving a BMW.

Paul: bmw driver syndrome strikes again, what a twat!

57👍 19👎

driver's license chicken

Figure out a way to get pulled over by the police that doesn't endanger the public, roll down your window, look the policeman in the eye, reach out your driver's license and don't let go. Begin counting to yourself "one one thousand.. two one thousand.." If the policeman breaks the chain first, take your time and double it (ie 30sec x 2 = 60 points). If you break first, then there's no multiplier (30sec = 30 pts). Then multiply by an additional x10 danger multiplier (30sec x 2 x 10 = 600).

If the policeman cracks a smile at any point, immediately let go, smile and say "who pays your paycheck?". The multiplier for a smiling policeman is x500 because there's not a snowball in hell that he'll smile to begin with, so (10sec x 500 = 5000). Operation driver's license chicken is not about agitating policemen, but about reminding them the customer is always right.

The next day is round 2. If it's the same policeman, you're not multiplying anything by anything because you'll be on to the next challenge, hand cuff chicken.

Extra credit: Have your passenger record video for posterity. Add 5,000 points to total your score, because you just leveled up to straight jacket chicken.

See also: toll booth chicken, drive-thru chicken

"Hey Eddie, I'm starving, man. Even prison food would beat this empty fridge. Let's go play driver's license chicken!"

20👍 5👎

norwegian pile driver

sex position involving a woman jumping off a ladder and landing on her partners dick

i had to go to the hospital because i attempted the norwegian pile driver

17👍 4👎

sponge driver

hybrid

You drive the sponge.......

2👍 10👎

Chattahoochee Impact Driver

When you're laying some pipe in the bedroom and you begin to forward thrust and spin yourself on your penis with a strong sudden rotational force (like that of a break dancer). This force can allow you to spin hands free like an impact drill going out of control.

You gotta give her the old Chattahoochee Impact Driver if you want to get a second date.

God's Drunkest Driver

When someone, especially a drunk driver, takes it within themselves to do God's duty of cleaning up the sinners of this world.
Through murder ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

me (god's drunkest driver) looking for sinners crossing the road without looking both ways

Thanking the bus driver

Requesting deep anal sex from the fortnite bus driver.

“Yo John thank the bus driver before you drop”
“Ok”
“Hey simon!!! John’s thanking the bus driver!!!!”