if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft

When a girl wants you in her bed, but she doesn't play Minecraft, tell her this.

(me) Bitch I'm tryna start a minecraft server you in or nah?
(Jessica) Make me your bitch ;)
(me) Listen Jessica, if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft.

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You can't have your cake and eat it too

something that is bittersweet.
getting a good half and a bad half to something.

John: So Tom did u get that English class you wanted?

Tom: Yea man. I love it. However the teacher is a total bitch!

John: Yea, well you can't have your cake and eat it too.

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You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit

It is impossible for a person to create something good out of something that is, by its very nature, bad.

(coming out of a movie theater)
Guy 1: That was the worst movie ever, man.
Guy 2: I know! But! Leonardo DiCaprio was the best out of them, though. His acting blew everyone else's right out of the water! Too bad everything else sucked.
Guy 1: Oh, well. You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.

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You Can't Teach An Old Frog New Tricks

The full title of one of the most annoying Chips Challenge levels ever, featured in CCLP3.

Crap, You Can't Teach An Old Frog New Tricks is so damn hard!

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Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash

"Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash," is something TV Dr. Phil McGraw's father said to him as a boy when he would voice wild plans or notions. It means that talk is cheap relative to performance, or that promising something and delivering on it are two different things. A phrase similar in meaning is "Money talks, bullshit walks."

.

"I'm going to get a job selling fuzzy dice door-to-door. I'll be rich!"

"Boy, your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash."

.

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You can't have your cake and eat it too

An expression basically meaning that you can only have it so good, and you can't have it all.

An good example is if a situation is bittersweet.

Sara was sad that the guy whom had gotten very close to her in the past 3 years which she held a secret fondness for developed an interest in her best friend, Clare. In conversation with Clare, Sara explained the situation, to which Clare responded.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too."

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u can't drown satan he can fucking swim

why the fuck would someone even look this up

i hav no idea im hella drunk my loves¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i mean why would someone put this in a sentence

Guy1: *shows le middle finger*
Guy2: Fuck off Jerry
Guy1: u can't drown satan he can fucking swim

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