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The act of kicking a homosexual in the testicles.
Billy and I were bored last night, so we went to a gay bar in the city and played us a little "fag football." I wish I'd worn my steel-toe boots.
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A term used by NFL television analysts in attempt to easily clarify/determine whether a particular pass was either a) caught and then fumbled or b) incomplete. The thinking is that if a ball was dropped after making a "football move" that the ball was officially caught and then fumbled. In contrast, if the receiver was not making a "football move," it was simply a dropped pass and therefore incomplete.
The problem with this term is that a receiver could clearly fumble the ball while making a non-football move (e.g. basketball move, volleyball move, etc.).
"And that pass is caught by Troy Williamson at the 30 yard line and he turns sideways while releasing a hook-shot (basketball move) toward the 28 yard-line where it is recovered by Al Harris - that is an incomplete pass and the Vikings will retain possession of the ball - that was not a football move...what was Al Harris thinking picking that ball up after a basketball move?"
This is clearly a catch followed by a fumble without the presence of a "football move."
I apologize for the unrealistic example - no way Williamson would catch the ball.
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A group of people who genuinely have no life and just sit on twitter all day every day doing #GainSZN
Chelsea and Wolves fans are the elite ,however there are a bunch of dicks known as Utd and Arsenal fans that roam the platform thinking that people actually believe their false claims about Rashford and Pepe.
Football Twitter:
Man U fan: Rashford>Mbappe debate your nan
Arsenal fan: Pepe>Hazard prove wrong
Rest of FT: fuck off you delusional twats, who actually asked?
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obviously the hottest type of athlete
"damn! is he a football player"
"well obviously! i mean look how hot he is woo!"
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football is my least favorite sport but i still under stand it. lots of people ask me question like "who's the browns QB" or "whats a wide receiver do?" unfortunately i don't know these answers but i will prove my understanding in a simple equation
"American Football"
120 yards=touch down
(a)touch downs>(b) touch downs to win
because 120 yards=touch down a(120yards)>b(120yards)
now that we have our equations i will wasy touch downs=7 because they are 7 points so 120 yards=7 so yard=7/120
now we can see that a(120*7/120)>b(120*7/120)
or a(7)>b(7)
that now simplifys to a>b in other words you just need more points to win
to remove all the words from that
120y=t
at>bt
so
a(120y)>b(120y)
and because
t=7 points
y=7/120
a(120*7/120)>b(120*7/120)
a(7)>b(7)
so
a>b
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The second best game in the world. Played when there's too much food on backpacking trips. The players adhere to an extremely strict set of rules, and when a rule is broken, other players ask the Duke or Duchess if they may speak, and when granted permission, they state who they think has broken the rule. The Duke or Duchess then decides if they should recieve penance, in other words, extra food. It's pretty awesome.
"We have way too much food and no one wants to eat it. Looks like we're going to have to play Silent Football."
*the game ensues..*
"Lady Duchess Lauren with the Long Lingering Locks of the Lost Coast, may I speak?"
"Yes, Lady Sonia, you may."
"I believe that Lord Dave was blaming his own flatulence problems on my person."
"I agree, and for that he shall recieve penance."
(Everyone is greatly amused, and Dave gets another bowl of the nasty rice and chili mix)
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If you take a second to think about every football obsessive that you know you'll realise they're pathologically unable to form regular relationships.
Most of them, you'll realise, are terminally single, or shackled to women so neurotic/hideous/smelly that even those meths sodden tramps we were laughing at earlier would think twice about touching them.
The only reason they got into football in the first place was because it gave them an excuse to get out of the house that didn't involve conversations with other sentient beings beyond racist chants and ridiculous tirades about goal averages and the past form of northern teams no-one really cares about.
People who like football are scared of real life. They don't think they're man enough to interact with the world, they don't have the wit or the panache or the intelligence or the finesse that allows a decent human to discuss art or love or the truth of the universe, so they immerse themselves in a meaningless diversion.
The point, it seems, is if anyone asks what they fill their days with, they can say "football" rather than "trainspotting" or "stalking" or, worst of the lot, "nothing at all". And the irony of this pubs farrago is that it's finally shown exactly how empty football supporters lives really are.
I think all football obsessives are frauds.
I don't think they really care about football. They find it as tedious and unbearable as the rest of us.
Anyone with a fully functioning frontal lobe can see that football is the most tiresome activity on the planet.
But if the football fans admit the truth then they also have to admit the full extent of their loneliness and despair, so they keep on bluffing for all they're worth.
Which is why live football has to be watched in a pub with alcohol. Or why supporters get thoroughly rat-arsed before stumbling onto the terraces.
Watching football sober is like Chinese water torture. Times ten. It's boredom and pain fused together in one hideously sadistic package. But watching football pissed is great. Because being pissed, full stop, is great, and nothing can ruin that.
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