bad pen pal

You meet a girl on a date, but realize you're not quite ready to get in a relationship. She calls you messy but reluctantly gives you her phone number. She then calls you her best pen pal and you talk every day on the phone. You realize later that life is short and you want more than pen pals. You ask her things like do pen pals kiss and she asks if you want to go to Mexico with her. A few months later, you find yourself renting a house next door to her but not sure how to surprise her with it.

Girl: did your phone get hacked? pen pals don't ask about kissing
Guy: I've been thinking about kissing you, I've been a bad pen pal

Pen-ultimate Spew

The Deepwater Horizon oil spill (also referred to as the BP oil spill, the BP oil disaster, the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, and the Macondo blowout)

There seems to be no standardized term to describe this event, which occurred on 4/20/2010.
"Penultimate Spew" describes both the magnitude and messiness.

Oil from the pen-ultimate spew is still washing ashore after 4 years.

clicked a pen

An idiom, generally used when referring to teachers, describes when a person looks extremely mad at someone else or yourself, and they (in their head) "click a pen", ready to write someone up, or explode on the offender later.

Did you see the way Mr. Rogers was looking at me? He totally just clicked a pen in his head.

shit pen

Someone who isn’t very bright in what he or she says or does.

Keaton: “Briggs is butt naked open.”
Nicholas: “There is 3 people guarding him you shit pen.”

Nod Pen

The hood name for a “Narcan shot!”

Yo’yo’yo’ hand me that “Nod Pen” this Broad is O D ing over here I can’t catch a body, “not again” “Fuck why does this shit keep happening?”

War pen

A tool Nick's dad used to fight the Koreans

I hit him with a war pen

Baloney in the bull pen

fake news, trash talk, gossip

Johnny Depp was spewing baloney in the bull pen when he claimed that Amber Heard didn't know what she was talking about when she said that he harassed her.