soccer ref

The idiot on the field with a yellow shirt only making calls for the other team. He also cards you for asking the time until the game ends.

Blessing: Soccer ref, what’s the time until end game?
Soccer ref: *blows whistle and pulls out yellow card*

soccer boppers

A toy from a kids commercial, they are soft and big punching gloves uses to fight to the death. If you win it is necessary to scream "Fatality" and then sing the Mortal Combat theme song. Make sure your victim has lost a cup of blood to determine victory.

"Soccer boppers are cool gloves we can play with! Can we buy them Dad??"

Soccer Player

A big pussy

Soccer players are big pussies

Sock Soccer

A game of soccer, usually on wooded floors. Take of you shoes and only wear socks, no need to scuff to floors.

Alright class we're playing sock soccer today

Soccer wipe

Using your knee in an upward sweeping motion like a soccer kick to wipe your ass. Commonly used by hand models and double amputees.

Ever since Leonard lost both arms in a mixer at a pancake breakfast he’s had to use the soccer wipe to clean up.

Midget Soccer

When you try to punt the football but kick your under-5-foot friend into the goal by accident.

I committed Midget Soccer upon a small man.

Soccer Boys

Will ruin your life. Doesn’t matter how well they treat you at first, they are always bitches. They play with feelings and then walk away.

Soccer Boys man.