Red Turtle

the first shit that you pump out of your ass after a rock hard cock has been in it, causing bleeding such that the tip of the shit is coated in red blood.

she told me to pull out cause she was gonna drop a red turtle in my mouth, but instead she smeared it all over my chest

15👍 5👎

turtle and bunny

The truest of lovers, one slow and one fast, opposites but so in love, they are sure to last till the end of their lives. True soulmates. I love you twirdle.

The turtle and bunny had enough love to fill the world.

Turtle hunting

Turtle hunting is when you feel a turrle head popping out of your rectum and proceed to go the nearest mirror, grab your asscheaks, and spread them just to see what your turtle head looks like.

Friend- "dude where'd you go"

You- "sorry, I felt something popping out so I had to go turtle hunting"

SPANKING THE TURTLE

The act of trying to slap a turtle head back up your luscious cheeks to avoid sheer embarrassment and the otter humiliation that comes with shitting your pants. This commonly done when restrooms are not available.

“Bro, I was SPANKING THE TURTLE 🐢 in hopes I would make it to a bathroom in time.”

Turtle Food

Another name for marijuana. Otherwise more of a code name, to protect college students. Turtles are a pet that are allowed in the dorms. They are also awesome animals. The use of Marijuana sometimes reflects the acts of a turtle.. Slow, Hungry..etc.

roommate 1: " hey, did you get the turtle food?!"
roommate 2: "dude, I already fed the turtles. They're pretty damn full."
roommate 1: "You owe me 20 Bucks for that turtle food!"

People Listening: Thought(oh wow, they must have turtles.)

Turtle Roulette

A game where there are 5 turtles. And you must get one of the turtles to suck your dick. Uncomfortably one of the turtles is a snapping turtle.

Mike played turtle roulette last night and he got his cock bit off.

Loggerhead Turtle

The act of giving a blowjob in the ocean while the penis is completely submerged in water (usually just 3-4 sucks at a time between coming back up for air).

"Dude, take my advice: don't ask her for a Loggerhead Turtle when the waves are really big."