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Jesus

The incredible Raymond Harris

Chubbs Jesus just reserected you form the dead

by whiteman June 10, 2005

3👍 28👎


Jesus Murphy

Canadian Jesus Christ. Meant to be said as an expletive.

What time is it? Jesus Murphy, I’m late!

Sue screams Jesus Murphy after she see’s a spider. She’s a total arachnophobe.

I like saying Jesus Murphy instead of using the lords name in vain.

by Kaizo64 September 1, 2018

26👍 1👎


Jesus Driver

A person who drives like a asshole, with a religious radio station sticker or logo on the car.

That Jesus driver just cut me off.

by vwsurf August 15, 2009

28👍 2👎


Raptor Jesus

Raptor Jesus appeared before me, and he said: "Take heed my son, for there shall be many who doubt me, but whosoever believeth in me shall have everlasting life." I wept with joy at the gift bestowed, "Yet, my lord, what fate shall be given to the unworthy?" He answered: "Their entrails shall be rent from their stomachs, their limbs ripped from their torso, to feast our hungry bodies, and restore our souls. Whensoever you feast upon the heart of thine enemy, think of me." For that is the beauty of Raptor Jesus.

One day, Raptor Jesus walked a busy street with his disciple, Anonymous. Anonymous and his like-named brethren populated the land on which they strolled, as common as blades of grass. They walked, discussing many things, but, Anonymous paused for a moment. “Lord?” he spoke, “Is not this idle talk frowned upon by your father?” And quoth Raptor Jesus; “All voice communicates knowledge. Knowledge is hardly frowned upon by anyone, and thus your ‘idle talk’ does not exist, unless you speak of memes. Memes are idle, as they are merely communication of things all know of” And thus our Lord beckoned to a painting of an insanely smiling man. “However, memes can bring laughter and happiness, thus, one can surmise that He enjoys them, and hardly frowns upon them” And Anonymous looked ahead, silent.

by Anon Divad December 7, 2007

721👍 128👎


East Jesus

way the fuck out there

damn, the parking lot was full and I had to park in East Jesus

by d5 and d3 April 12, 2000

212👍 33👎


by da jesus

A Newfoundland saying, often said when one is becoming stressed out or annoyed.

"By da jesus! Dat car almost rear ended me!"

by Marzocchi66 November 10, 2007


Brooklyn Jesus

Notorious B.I.G aka Biggie Smalls aka Brroklyn's Jesus was one of the greatest M.C of all time.He is known as the Brooklyn's Jesus because he was Brooklyn's savior. Meaning he brought back the east coast, New York's hip hop.

The Brooklyn Jesus is the best M.C of all time.

by PrinceKush March 1, 2017