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The act of when individuals in a white-collar environment masquerade as sophisticated, hi-powered professionals with dreams of innovation and corporate-ladder climbing.
In reality, they are nothing more than simpering, limp mediocrities with little imagination, over-inflated ambition, endless arsenals of vapid buzzwords and half-baked skills that offer nothing to whatever field or industry they happen to be (undeservedly) employed in.
The only thing they happen to share with real professionals who actually do know their shit, are direct as hell and get things done is their passion for their own business attire. Giorgio Armani, Hugo Boss, or hell, even some cheap-ass suit from Target won't hide the fact that these dipshits are out of their depth and pollute the office environment with their infinite, tedious posturing.
Unlike typical cosplay there ain't no hotties strutting around as Wonder Woman and Black Widow, or dudes stomping around as Thor or Batman here. Only simians with ties and lapels are what you can expect.
"Hey Sean, ready to watch the latest round of Corporate Cosplay in the Marketing Dept. Today?"
"Jesus Christ. If I hear the word 'artisan' or 'paradigm' from those fuckwits one more time I'm going to crack some skulls."
A company by you, for you. Always invested in the future and how to make it better. Makes AIs to better the world.
Working robots! Amazing fast tech! A step into the future that is so bright!
Advancement Corporation of Tomorrow.
"Advancement Corporation of Tomorrow? Well, you know what they say..."
"You are the future."
The Great Corporate War has raged since thee conception of fiat. Organizations, governments, associations, companies and corporations all came up out of the woodwork to battle it out in this realm of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. Cartels, mafias, and every kind of gang live to make money. Banks live to launder it. We live to spend it and put it in the right hands. The cycle of drugs, murder, skulduggery, and straight fuckery go deep, and continue without cease. Cash is king, and gold is queen. The king can be stretched, but the queen is sacred, feel me. If you have a job you're in the game. Nobody's innocent. Every conflict has been funded and back by government and corporate dollars. And that's the beauty of it. The Corporate War has no end in sight, because fiat is a promise and promises are older than money... It's good vs evil, out here in the streets. It's Corporate War, baby.
Example
Person 1: When do I get my sign up bonus...?
Person 2: HAha what?? There is no sign up bonus. Here's a compensation plan. You have a quota to hit this month.
Person 1: Hehe... okay. What if I can't hit these numbers? They seem a little excessive.
Person 2: Excessive? You signed up during Corporate War and you ain't even in your prime yet. We're gonna make you a killing machine-
Person 1: I'm sorry?
Person 2: A closing machine. I'll tell you if you do anything crazy to hit those numbers and jail in the clink, we can help with an advance on your check and post bail..
Person 1: *wtf...*
Toxic employees in a company who undermine internal and external colleagues who may pose a threat.
I find corporate bullies not only destructive, but counter-productive to the progress of a company.
When a company hires musicians to make rock and roll.
The rock typically sounds like something you'd hear in a 2000s teen's movie or a commercial.
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Guy 1 "Did you hear that music in the commercial?"
Guy 2 "Yeah, it sounded like Corporate rock, I swore I also heard in some shitty teen's movie"
A cult dedicated to the most advanced animals, Aardvarks and frogs. It is the second most popular cult, after MONKEMONKEBUYMONKEMONKEAT3AM (Which is an ally) It is theorized that the VP of Froggy Froggy raided the Monke Monke discord server, and was banned for 1 day. However, they patched things up and Monke Monke and Froggy Froggy are one of the most prestigious cult allies in history. Varky Varky was founded a few weeks after Froggy Froggy and merged soon after to create a mega-cult. Together, they have one of the largest member counts, and may even surpass Monke Monke soon. They have no other connections with other cults, although there are sub-cults, such as Prnty Prnty that have their own dedicated channels to worship in within the server. Froggy Froggy/Varky Varky members are known (and scientifically proven) to have higher IQ and lower cringe scores as well.
Did you hear about the new Froggy Froggy & Varky Varky Animal Cult Corporation Inc. merch?
I know right! I bought 50 copies for my future humans!
The provider of amazing pizza and filthy hot sex.
Looking for a good time. Go get yourself a little bit of corporal sexy pizza. He bangs