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When you lay down a few sheets of toilet paper on the water surface before taking a dump, preventing water from splashing on your ass when the turd drops.
This toilet looks like it hasn't been cleaned in ages! I better set up a turd raft to protect by delicate bottom from the AIDS.
A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.
The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd
When you take a shit and it doesn't come all the way out so it just dangles like a testicle.
Bro 1: Damn, I just took the worst shit of my life yesterday!
Bro 2: Was it a turd testicle?
Bro 1: Yeee maan...
A turd that is left behind after you flush the toilet.
Paul glanced back at the toilet to find a stubborn orphan turd still circling the bowl.
Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.
After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.
A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.
"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."
When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."