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Compass turd

A compass turd is created when a person Eats two consecutive high fiber meals. The first meal is exceptionally high in protein, and the second laden with fats. The eater then passes both meals in the same defecation. The high fiber content in the compass turd will hold a sturdy log, and the dense protein packed end sinks to the bottom of toilet bowl while the buoyant, fatty pole will float to the surface, leaving the compass turd pointing straight up and down.

The scout master taught the intrepid scouts how to lay a compass turd, along with many tricks and techniques of orientation in wilderness. The scouts who could birth the best fecal compass were granted an ornate and venerable badge denoting their glorious ever-skyward turd

by fullyregressed January 16, 2014


lava turds

Liquid shit that is so hot it oozes out of your ass like lava.

After eating the cheese rolls from Taco Bell, MArk had to drop off some serious lava turds.

by snarky1 May 24, 2009


Orphan Turd

A turd that is left behind after you flush the toilet.

Paul glanced back at the toilet to find a stubborn orphan turd still circling the bowl.

by Largetarget April 19, 2018


Mouth Turd

When an intoxicated individual consumes too much food, and then begins to secrete a turd-like substance out the mouth, resulting in a turd shaped vomit. It is often found leaving serious skid marks

It was Chris' mouth turd. Looks like an orange shit.

by bighorse123 February 6, 2011


turd hearse

A manure spreader; device commonly used by farmers to spread livestock feces on their fields to use as fertilizer.

"Dad's out in the field, pulling the turd hearse behind his tractor. He cleaned the hog house today."

by oldgeezer March 6, 2010


Perfume on a Turd

** See lipstick on a pig

When my friends ex-girlfriend was taking too long to get ready to go out one night, another buddy said "What's the point? You might as well try to put perfume on a turd."

by desertcajun September 12, 2008


service turd

a waiter, waitress, or other retail worker who has a bad attitude or bad service.

My waitress at Olive Garden last night was a service turd. she took my menu before I had ordered!

by professionalpotato April 17, 2016