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Auditory processing disorder is a hearing problem. Kids and adults with this condition can't process what they hear in the same way other people do because their ears and brain don't fully coordinate. An individual with this disorder may experience hearing certain things muffled while other things perfectly fine.
For example, a person with APD is in a restaurant, in the restaurant there's music playing, waiters walking and other people a few tables away talking. Beside the person with APD is their friend talking to them however, the individual with APD can hear that their friend is talking but it's muffled, the individual can hear the people talking, the music and the walking, almost as if those sounds were right next to them. It can be best described as watching tv with the volume turning up and down and off at random times and you can't control it.
Symtoms of APD:
You are easily distracted or unusually bothered by loud or sudden noises.
Noisy environments are upsetting to you.
Your behavior and performance improve in quieter settings.
You have difficulty following directions, whether simple or complicated.
You have reading, spelling, writing, or other speech-language difficulties.
Verbal (word) math problems are difficult.
You're disorganized and forgetful.
Conversations are hard for you to follow.
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"Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) "
A diagnosis whereas a person has an inability to do anything and everything productive due to lack of desire, care, or that they don't give a crap.
My roommate must have terrible LAD (Lazy Ass Disorder) since he hasn't been to any class in 4 weeks.
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-the condition that occurs when a person, usually female, views old photographs and asks themself "What the hell was I wearing???"
Honey, I just looked at the picture of me from senior prom in my high school yearbook...i have post-traumatic dress disorder!
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A constant bealive that the artist Prince's symbol can be oral pronounced with randomly occuring spasms, can soon lead to alpha-intercourse tourettesyndrome (AITS).
(See alpha-intercourse tourettesyndrome)
Mother: "Doctor, Doctor! Please come quick, my 7 year old daughter is grunting in a strange foriegn tounge while spasming on the floor!"
Doctor: "Ok stay calm, sounds like she has Obesssive Princesymbolicus Disorder. I'll be right over."
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Unlike Truman Show Delusion sufferers who see themselves as being the unwitting main character in a reality TV show, Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder sufferers see their life as being full-blown scripted, expensive serialised drama TV Series. They frame each year of their life as being a 'season', each week roughly equating to a single 'episode' of their show.
The sufferer twists known facts and does mental gymnastics to shoehorn their mundane lives into some form of 'season arc' for their character.
They know full well that they aren't really in a TV show. - they just desperately want to be.
Ultimately, Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder is just a tactic employed by the miserable to deny reality - those who know deep down that the only way their life can have meaning is not through art or expression, giving and charity, a relationship with God but instead by forcibly contextualising everything as being a carefully scripted, story-boarded and rehearsed piece of fiction to be consumed by only the sufferer themselves.
The sufferer inevitably commits suicide or dies in their 'series finale' - Whether their TV Series achieved excellence and a satisfactory conclusion (Breaking Bad), was cancelled before its time and fondly remembered (Party Down), went seasons too long and became a shadow of itself (The Simpsons), (Dexter) can only be determined by the dead sufferer's friends and family at the funeral.
Q; "What's wrong with Caleb? He said he hadn't seen me since 'Season 2', and that he thought I'd been written out, whatever that means?
A: "Dude yeah he's got Telefantastic Dissociative Delusional Disorder' - just nod and smile. He'll kill himself if he thinks his show might be getting cancelled or resorting to cheap plot twists"
A feeling typically associated with dread,night terrors and flashbacks from the presidential election results.
Me: I can't come into work today.
Boss:Why?
Me: I'm dealing with Post-Trump Stress Disorder.
Boss: Understood
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Cyber Dysfunctional Personality Disorder (CDPD) is a non-hereditary, largely contagious, psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality. Those who suffer from this condition will go on to create tens, if not hundreds of accounts on social networking and video sharing websites such as facebook, myspace and youtube. They will then converse with themselves across their many accounts in a lame bid to create the impression that they are popular and sociable. Often they will use their various accounts to team up on other internet users who have shown themselves to be smarter than them, in a desperate bid to restore some pride. Currently there is no cure for this ever increasing psychopathic trend, but most sufferers give the game away within a week, such is their lack of concentration and intellect.
JohnnyBarretta: Hi mate, how are you??? :)
Toxic: Good mate, what about yourself?
Pakilover1988: Fuck you white piece of shit!!! :)
Toxic: I see you suffer from Cyber Dysfunctional Personality Disorder?
Note: The smilie and the excessive use of question and exclamation marks give it away.
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