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A NASA astronaut or engineer who quickly devises an ingenious solution to a tough problem while under extreme pressure.
"Houston, the CO2 level has dropped to nine."
"That is good to hear, Aquarius. And you, sir, are a steely-eyed missile man!"
-Apollo 13 movie dialogue
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As a man is receiving oral sex and is about to finish, he pulls out, punches the one performing the act (so that he or she sees stars) and then yells, "surprise!" as he cums in her eye
1. This hot chick was blowing me during the Leonid meteor shower last night, so I decided it would be a great time to give her a starry-eyed surprise
2. I totally got starry-eyed surprised last night- this guy punched me and came in my eye- I think I'm still seeing stars!
12👍 51👎
When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
An extremely large piece of corn laden shit that chokes the toilet bowl and requires a professional plumber to clear; typical measurements = 6"- 8" circumference (tapered at both ends) x 14" - 22.5" length. Producer of said ass log must posess sufficient sphincter control that will enable this rarest of shits to remain intact (no breakage). Offshoot versions can include the steaming corn eyed bowl choker, rusty corn eyed bowl choker and the corn/ lima bean skin eyed bowl choker.
Janes rapidly evolving - young adult - metabolism enhanced her rate of digestion beyond that of normal girls in their early twenties....this, coupled with her incessant anal stimulation widened her poop chute to twice the normal asshole size. Her recent visit to a friends house found her in a quandry of sorts after she placed a generous sized corn eyed bowl choker in the guest bathroom...a hasty exit, me thinks she makes
To wank, or masturbate.
Uncle Herbert told me to patch the one eyed snake, so I went out looking for a one with a box of band-aids. I eventually got tired as I couldn't find it, so I ran behind a bush and masturbated furiously.
The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..
Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..
The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..
36👍 2👎
Sex with a woman in three holes (last being the ass) on a par 5 on a golf course.
I was in Roanoke Va last weekend and I give this chick a brown eyed eagle, her goat fucking husband has no idea.
2👍 5👎