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The gut wrenching nail on a chalk board tourist's way of pronouncing "New Braunfels", one the greatest small towns between San Antonio and Austin, TX
Oh I just love all the festivals in New Braunsfels
It's New Braunfels, not New Braunsfels, Jesus fuck
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Stereotypes: We all live by malls, factories are everywhere, we apparently have an accent that we've never heard of before, we all are Italian and gel our hair, we are just a giant suburb of NY and Philly, we all smoke alot and we must come from Newark or Atlantic City because those are the only two NJ cities you know.
The Truth: I can't speak for all of NJ but I do live within 45 minutes of 3 malls, but what's so bad about that? Factories are only in Northeast Jersey that is real close to NYC, and they manufacture half the shit you buy, we have to put them somewhere. No one ever says "Joisey", we say Jurzee and the accent you think we have is more like a crushing combonation of Staten Island and Boston. Jersey Accents are more subtle and most people talk like they're from Philly or NY. We aren't all Italian, infact only 17% of NJ is Itailian but yeah I am Italian but there's nothing wrong with that, and no we don't all gel our hair or wear Gucci sunglasses. We are like a giant suburb of NY/Philly but with attitude, our own cities and towns, and a beach. And No we aren't all from Newark or AC,there a lot of towns in Jersey that I've never heard of before and I lived here for all my life.
Out-Of-Stater: New Jersey sucks.
Jersey Kid: Have you ever even been here?
Out-Of-Stater: Yeah I drove by Newark on my way to NYC
Jersey Kid: That's not the real New Jersey, that's like going to Compton and saying that you've seen all of California, or going to inner city Detroit and saying you've seen all of Michigan.
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Where my heart will always be no matter where I go.
New York = Home
I'm in a New York State of Mind - Billy Joel.
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A so-called news channel that has the tendency to use their news alert sounder frequently on stories that don't warrant it, all in the name of fear-mongering and ratings.
(news sounder)"This is a Fox News Alert...at this hour President Bush has passed a turd in the Oval Office...."
(news sounder)"This is a Fox News Alert...Britney Spears has announced today that her marriage to Kevin Federline has ended..."
(news sounder) "This is a Fox News Alert...we just wanted to see if you were paying attention...BOO!!!"
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A state in the northeast of the United States. States that border it include Maine (the colder, more lobstery New Hampshire), Vermont (New Hampshire's evil twin), and Massachusetts (an inferior, square-ish version of New Hampshire). These states are all a part of "New England" and were some of the first states to become colonies.
According to American legend, New Hampshire surfaces from the depths of the ocean every four years at election time, when it is then paid an inordinate amount of attention for two-to-four weeks before sinking back into the murky, mystical land of Libertaria. At the primaries, often as much as sixty percent of New Hampshirites show up to vote.
It is an un-diverse state with its ethnic population growing to as much as -1,000,000% in the past four years. New Hampshire parents tell their children that if they capture an ethnic minority he will grant them three wishes and then disappear.
It is known as "the Granite State," though Vermont actually possesses more granite in its soil than New Hampshire. Some New Hampshire icons include moose, lobster, maple tree leaves, and the late Old Man of the Mountain (a face-like protrusion from rockface locate at "the Notch"; this natural formation was lost to the state shortly after being printed on all New Hampshire license plates and the New Hampshire quarter, when the thing finally fell off the damn mountain).
Much of New Hampshire is agricultural and poorly-populated. Some almost-well-known cities, however, include Manchester (Manch Vegas), Nashua (Nausea), and Concord as the state capitol.
Though New Hampshire is thought of as a backwards-ass hickstate and is known to be fiscally conservative, the state is surprisingly socially liberal. As of January 2008, same-sex civil unions are now permitted. Lesser known than this, the state is actually home to some trailblazing legislature in the areas of mental health and domestic violence.
New Hampshire is a strongly libertarian state and even has a libertarian party. Close to fifty percent of voters are registered independent.
Arguably the most interesting thing about the state to those who move there is a lack of zoning laws. Laconia, NH is a particularly remarkable city where even fastfood chains can own lakefront property. In other parts of the state, one can easily observe mobile homes directly next to mansions.
New Hampshirites have esteem for only one-to-three other states, varying with the occasion and context. These states are Maine (often held in high esteem for its relative northness), Vermont (occasionally held in esteem for its New Hampshirey qualities), and Minnesota (sometimes held in esteem for its epic coldness). Visitors from Massachusetts often receive only disdain from New Hampshire natives, who insist that those from Mass (often called "Massholes") only visit so they can buy New Hampshire's relatively cheap vices (liquor, lottery tickets, tobacco), drive like crap all over New Hampshire's roads, and ski like crap all down New Hampshire's mountains.
New Hampshirites are a proud people whose motto is to "live free or die." With no seatbelt or helmet laws over age eighteen, some make the case that the state motto ought to be "live free AND die."
"Let's get some maple syrup and New Hampshah it up in heah!"
Translation: "Let's get some maple syrup and New Hampshire it up in here!"
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Fears News = propaganda to scare ignorant people into voting Republican.
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aka Ryan. A kid we couldn't think of a name for.
"Hey look! It's Slim and...New Kid."
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