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Corporate humanization

A corporation humanizing itself, usually through social media such as Twitter, to make you think that the corporation is your friend, or at least a person, as opposed to a business built for profit.

all of these brand twitter accounts that have been posting random shit are just examples of how normalized corporate humanization has become in today's world.

by jai_ June 1, 2023


Corporate Kermit

A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.

Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.

by JonJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt July 23, 2019


Corporate Tortograph Theory

Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.

Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”

by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023


Corporate Driveby

When someone is so fed up with a company or product they wait until the majority of employees gets off work and then sprays them with bullets comming down the front stairs to replace their staff and solve the problem.

Did you fix the problem with your computer?
No, it's not user error, I'm going to have to do a corporate driveby.

by WGstyles July 29, 2023


corporate ghosting

The subtle process by which a company eliminates black people in prominent positions in order to make themselves seem more elite. The black folks disappear like ghosts and seem to vanish without great fanfare. whitening, ghosting, white flight, corporate America, elitism, ghetto, glass ceiling, executives, Fortune 500, diversity, chamber of commerce, corporation, business

I've noticed a lot of corporate ghosting in the media since President Obama is nearing the end of his term. The anchors used to be more diverse and now they have returned to mostly white men. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted!

by joecoolthefool June 14, 2016


Corporate Justice

It is the antithesis, perhaps the natural enemy, of corporate greed.

The guy who assassinated the CEO of United Healthcare served some Corporate Justice.

by Salem Haven December 9, 2024


noodlin in the corporate pond

To catfish a coworker. As explained in "The Slippery Fist finds It's Way In" Magazine, March 1984 Issue.

Seamus created a fake Tinder account so he could uncover Nancy's secret fetishes, thus he be noodlin in the corporate pond.

by batht March 15, 2018