bearded clam

A slang word for the female genitalia.

With a great thrust I parted the thick roast beef curtains to behold a wondrous sight. There before me amidst a multitude of glimmering treasures in a magnificent glory all its own sat the fabled Bearded Clam, shining with a light one could only describe as righteous.

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southern beard

unlike its northern countepart, the southern beard is generally hidden by underpants. the southern beard is generally referred to after sighting an unkempt, smelly individual whose commitment to personal hygiene is low.

'can you imaging how tatty the southern beard is if the northern one hasn't been trimmed, brushed or touched in 2 years'

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Pelican Beard

The manifestation of feces on the underside of a man's scrotum.

Dude, I had liquid poop followed by gas, and blew a Pelican Beard on my balls!

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Bacon Beard

The sorry result of eating a bacon sandwich where the undercooked fat of the bacon inadvertently pulls the rest of the bacon out of the sandwich onto your chin leaving a beard of Ketchup or HP Sauce. Deadly when combined with a Bacon Banjo.

Mmm, really looking forward to this amazing Bacon Butty <chomp> <stretch> <slap> .... ar shit, which mofo didnt cook the bacon properly? Got a right bacon beard now.

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robbie's beard

A small, furry creature. Usually goes unwashed from the time it sprouts untill the day it dies. Can usually be found hiding on the underside of a chin. Several of these beards have become very infamouse... in one case staring its own blogring.

"Holy shit Tom! What is that thing eating Robbie's head."
-Mick
"Oh, that's just Robbie's beard."
-Tom

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The Red Beard

“The Red Beard”- You are on the rag and you seduce your boyfriend into your dark bedroom and convince him to give you face, leaving him with a memorable bloody face.

Girl: "Babe, I am really horny...Lets go to bed and Ill give you the best blow job of your life."
Boy: "Okay babe, but only if you give me the red beard again like last month."

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Murder of beards

A group of 4 or more bearded gentleman

So I was tending bar one night when a murder of beards came in. I thought we were in trouble but they turned out to be a nice group of guys.

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