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Redneck Brakes

A stick,brick,or another you put under your back tire of car/truck to substitute for normal brakes.

Redneck 1: Well there i was, that big sumbitch truck came right at me.

Cop: And this Truck had no driver?

Redneck 1: Nope

Cop:(to redneck 2) Sir get your brakes fix

Redneck 2: Well Hell i had em bastards on musta snapped or come loose.

Cop: take it to the shop.

Redneck 2: Hell Where are my Brakes?

Redneck 3: here they are

cop: what the fuck that's a 2-by-4.

Redneck 2: Yep em "Redneck Brakes" .

by MaineRedneck March 31, 2011

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Redneck Microwave

When you get in the car or truck and your food is cold, so you turn the heater on full blast and hold your food in front of it to heat it up

Matt: I got in the car and my biscuit was frezzeing.
Chris: Mine was too i just used the redneck microwave.

by WhiteBoiiEnt December 13, 2010

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


redneck commandments

the 10 commandments for rednecks
1.) thou must marry thine sister.
2.) thou must consume copious amounts of alcohol.
3.) thou mustn't achieve greater education than grade 8.
4.) thou must live in a broken down house or trailer park.
5.) thou mustn't bathe more than twice per year.
6.) thou must have many children, many pets, and have your parents live in the attic.
7.) thou must watch NASCAR.
8.) thou must wear plaid and a trucker hat.
9.) thou must live in the USA or Canada.
10.) thou must own a beaten up truck

the lost commandments
11.) thou must listen to country.
12.) thou must vote for bush.
13.) thou must make moonshine.
14.) thou mustn't pay taxes.
15.) thou must hate your neighbor.
16.) thou must disapprove of newcomers.
17.) thou must salute the trucker.
18.) thou must only eat game you find (road) and kill, yourself.
19.) thou have a rocking chair on your porch.
20.) thou must play the banjo.

-road trip through Alabama-
-stop at a gas station-
-get out and fill up-
guy 1 "hmm?"
-locals stare and talk to each other-
-guy 1 gets back into car-
-guy 1 to guy 2- " those guys are kind of creeping me out. Can you guess why they're doing that?"
guy 2 "have no idea. You might want to check in with them redneck commandments."

by leviathantheinsane June 14, 2013

6๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Redneck Ph.D

When a Redneck, Hillbilly or White trash person says something that a Redneck, Hillbilly or White trash person would find perfectly logical but normal people with IQs exceeding 40 find ridiculous.

Redneck Ph.D: Hay, guyz!! I just fawnd awt dat pawt duzzn't hayav ennie udd-ik-tivv kem-y-kulls een eet!
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: I think he said that marijuana is not addictive
Everyone but Redneck: *facepalm*

OR

Redneck Ph.D: *interrupting conversation to grandstand stupid point* COMPEWWWTURS ARE DEVULL SAYTEN M'CHEENS!!! THAY WULL RAWT-YERR-BRAYN!! THE FAWL OF MAYN, THESE THANGS! THE GUFFRN'MENT IS JUST FITTIN' TO USE THE, THE THE MAAAAAND CINTROLL TO MAKE YE PAY THE TAXXES.
Redneck #2: YEAH, JED! YOU SAY IT! THEY ALSO BE HIDIN' DEM SEQUINED NUMBERS OR WHATEVER-
Guy: Sequential...
Redneck #2: YEAH, DAT! DEY HIDE DEM TO BRAIN WASH YE
*Redneck coalition uprising destroys all sane humanity*

by zunebeatsipod07 December 18, 2010

7๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Redneck hillbilly

A person who from birth is involved in weird things such as hunting fishing, and other wierd things like noodling and muddin'. A very funny person who likes Larry the cable guy. Great conversation people who do a lot of stupid stuff. Not the sterio type of idiotic person who does not know anyhting about the modern world relatively smart and has a decent education.

Sydney: So what did you do this weekend?
Valerie: I went muddin' and went deer hunting with my brothers.
Sydney: Your such a redneck hillbilly!

by Redneck Hillbilly 13 January 2, 2012

26๐Ÿ‘ 13๐Ÿ‘Ž


Redneck Nigger

A redneck who hangs around too many black people and they call them their nigga

(G1) Man I was in the hood and these black guys jumped me, but when it was over they said we were cool.
(G2)Man Fuck you your a Redneck Ngger.
Redneck Nigger white nigga

by Mr.Morton76' March 3, 2015

10๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


redneck bbq

in springfield, il, when a bunch of hicks sit in their 12 ft x 16 ft backyard right next to peases candy smoking ciggarettes and downing miller lites, grillin crisp black burgers and yellin and yee-hawin about random crap

(two guys walk out of peases and go across the street to buy a coke)
first guy: hey david u hear those guys over there yellin about random crap?
david: yeah thats a regular redneck bbq

by oiewnb.wlj November 7, 2006

26๐Ÿ‘ 15๐Ÿ‘Ž