SPANKING THE TURTLE

The act of trying to slap a turtle head back up your luscious cheeks to avoid sheer embarrassment and the otter humiliation that comes with shitting your pants. This commonly done when restrooms are not available.

“Bro, I was SPANKING THE TURTLE 🐢 in hopes I would make it to a bathroom in time.”

bert the turtle

A turtle used in the '50s to promote "Duck and Cover" in the case of an atomic bomb exploded. You can watch the video on you tube.

Tert The Burtle said, "Cuck and Dover" --- er, i mean, Bert the Turtle... same differemce

Cheese Turtle

An uncircumcised micropenis with yellow smegma

"Hey how's your cheese turtle problem doing?"
"I thought I told you not to talk about it in public!"
"Not my fault you weren't circumcised and don't know how to wash your tiny dick. That yellow smegma is gross"

Turtle Flipper

The art of inserting four knuckles into your father's anus and grabbing ahold of your thumb to work it back and forth in return directly for cannabis or money to buy cannabis

I couldnt afford any weed so i gave dad a turtle flipper.

Slumbering Turtle

Unlike a turtle head a 'slumbering turtle' is knowing that you have a poop coming on, but it is not yet as severe.

I've got a slumbering turtle right now, but I might want to get it out before it turns into a turtle head!

turtle nub

A short, fat, ugly and sweating male creeping at the late Thirsty Turtle in College Park, MD. This man must be all of the characteristics stated previously to qualify. And most importantly he must be SWEATING, and not sweaty.

OMG, that turtle nub was tryna grind up all on me, so I poured my drink on him.

turtle crack

when your penis is slightly visible through the zipper that you forgot to close.

Babji walked out of the bedroom, once again with the zipper of his shorts open, creeping through the small crevice was the tip of his man junk. This was a classic case of turtle crack.