7 minute rule

The minimum amount of time to wait before replying to a text message from a love interest without seeming desperate and needy.

Bob 16:25 Hey it's bob, got your number last night in that dive bar. How's ur day goin?
Candy 16:32 Oh hey bob, my day's going well thanks, nothing hectic just relaxing.
Bob 16:39 Lets bangbangbangbangbang
Candy 16:43 Sounds great!
*7 minute rule alarm bells in Bob's brain*
Bob 17:30 Actually I'm busy that day
Candy 17:31 What day?? What? But I LOVE YOU, YOU WILL FATHER MY CHILDREN
Bob 17:31 *deletes number*

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one minute minister

a minister who was ordained online under the Universal Life Church, comes from the amount of time it takes to change your life forever

Can your cousin marry me and my lesbian friend? Sure she's a one minute minister!

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one minute rule

When a person is Snapchatting either a guy or girl they like, they must wait at least one minute to open the Snapchat from the person they’re talking to to avoid seeming like they’re extremely into them or almost creepy.

“Oh my god, I opened Xander’s Snapchat like two seconds after he sent it. He’s going to think I’m obsessed with him.”

“You should’ve used the one minute rule Hannah.”

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40 minute shower

A euphemism for taking a long shower purely for masturbation. One may take one despite already having a shower to clean. The shower nozzle may or may not be used.

Man, I just had the best 40 minute shower!

Hey dude. Mind if I have a 40 minute shower? Feel free to go home if you don't want to wait around for that long...

Mary loved to take 40 minute showers when her boyfriend went away on business trips.

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humps per minute

A way of measuring the speed of sexual intercourse.

Greg: My girlfriend and I did it doggy style last night.

Matt: Cool, how fast?

Greg: I'd say about 150 humps per minute.

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20 minute rule

The rule which gives you legal right to leave your place of employment when 20 minutes has transpired since your boss has left the building.

"Dude, my boss just left!! 20 MINUTE RULE is in effect!"

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I Need A Minute

Phrase. Used to let your friends or whoever you are in the midst of conversation with that the stress level has reached an all time high. One would require a break so as to cool down and not "Freak Out!!"

Wife/Girlfriend/Annoying Friend: Nag, Nag, Nag (Senseless Conversation)
Me: Gahhh, I'm getting so stressed/annoyed right now, I need a minute.

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