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What a gal says to ask you not to "proceed to fourth base" --- i.e., not encroach on her "thatched" area.
If a hot chick tells you to "Keep off the grass" during intimacy, giving her a "joint of grass" might addle her brain enough to make her change her mind.
Ensure that one is behaving according to the prescribed conduct.
When I asked the drill Sargeant why he's always yelling at me, he said "to keep you in line."
When a Jew will eat non kosher food when they're out but keeps kosher at home. An act of illogical hypocrisy but is ever so popular among secular Jews.
Dan: Alright Jim what do you want on your pizza?
Jim: Ham and pineapple please.
Dan:No Jim! That's not kosher!
Jim:Dan you don't even keep kosher! I've seen you eat bacon cheeseburgers a dozen times!
Dan:I eat non kosher out but I keep a kosher home!
Jim:That's such bullshit!
to request someone to stay calm and not get annoyed
The general said keep your hair on during the meeting this time
Similar to keeping it under the table, but a bit more descrete. Like if you were to hide everything under a rug to "clean" your room
Im going to give you extra tater tots, but keep it under the rug
Based off of the expression "keep me posted," a way of asking someone to stay in touch via text message
Older brother: Thanks for a great night! See you soon.
Younger brother: Sounds good, keep me texted. Do you want to play some Mario Kart online later tonight?
Older brother: Maybe, I'll keep you texted!
Younger brother: Yeah, keep me texted!
Getting angry for no fucking reason.
Keep your face on is to calm the fuck down, your face is falling off and you need to keep it on ;)