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Random
What you get from pets when they lick their assholes and then lick you.
Guy #1: "Man, your cat is really affectionate!"
Guy #2: "I hate to say this, man, but Felix just gave you second-hand asshole!"
Guy #1: *kicks cat across the room*
A simple rule stating that food dropped on the ground is still perfectly edible if it is picked up in five seconds. Ingeniously created by guys for the sole purpose of reducing wasted food and allowing a person that second chance they needed to enjoy their food.
Jason: I dropped my steak on the ground!
Chris: That sucks.
Jason: Nah, five second rule, I saved it.
Chris: Nice.
68👍 6👎
The feeling one gets the day after smoking marijunana. This person is slower than normal and seems a little dumber than usual.
Joe:"Does Will seem a little more stupid today?"
Steve:"Yah man he must have second day stupids."
25👍 1👎
a Monster Zero Ultra. common term used on IRC and Mumble servers.
Man, I'm tired. Time to have a 20 second breakfast!
25👍 1👎
Luigi., younger brother of Mario
Snake: That guy with the mustache...
Colonel: Ha. You mean the "King of Second Bananas"?
Snake: Hey, that's Luigi! Show him a little respect!
Colonel: Look at that pale skin. He's been living in his brother's shadow for too long.
Snake: That's a low blow, Colonel!
Colonel: Face it, Snake! Once a kid brother, always a kid brother!
Snake: Colonel, what's gotten into you?!
Colonel: La li lu le lo. La li lu le lo. La li lu le lo.
Snake: Colonel, snap out of it! Colonel!! COLONEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
60👍 5👎
A co-worker who doesn't smoke but goes outside with the real smokers to talk.
"I don't need a light, I'm just a second hand smoker."
what i feel when i watch the weird oversexualized daddy povs on tiktok
noah becks tiktoks give me second hand embarrassment
125👍 14👎