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The state of being mentally removed and detached from corporate business culture, and general disgust from the
overconsumption of business buzzwords and acronyms.
After twenty years of meetings, spreadsheets and conferences, I have corporate sickness and am retiring.
A corporation who thinks their policies are holy, almost a body of religion. Variation of Corpus Christi from Christianity.
"This company is getting that Corporate Christi mindset with some of these new policies."
An activity which is funny enough that the punishment for the activity is worth the comedic value. Typically a military term.
"We will have no lance corporal esque activities tonight"
A colloquial term used in corporate settings to describe an individual who takes excessive pleasure in establishing and enforcing overly strict rules for the office. For instance, requiring prior approval to participate in company-sanctioned recreation (e.g., ping pong). Related to: corporate cunt.
Corporate Kermit, during a conference call: Excuse me, Salt Lake office? Please put yourself on mute, I can't hear myself talk over your collective breathing. Thanks.
An apology so bland that it makes you want to throw up. Almost always given by multi million dollar
conglomerates, hence the name.
Conglomerate: We would like to apologise for our actions. (insert corporate apology here)
A corporation humanizing itself, usually through social media such as Twitter, to make you think that the corporation is your friend, or at least a person, as opposed to a business built for profit.
all of these brand twitter accounts that have been posting random shit are just examples of how normalized corporate humanization has become in today's world.
Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”