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Random
some who is really fucked...
your mom is a douche bagging bitch
2👍 65👎
That feeling you'd get looking into a bag of bloody cut out assholes that is intensified by the smell of shit.
Your so ugly that:
When you look at them you find it impossible to get aroused in the least.
People who have been told all their life they are disgusting pigs look upon you and are grateful.
Your Mom avoids family holidays so as not to have to hug you.
You have a stamp on you drivers license that says "NO PHOTO AVAILABLE"
That woman is homelier than a bag full of assholes!!
6👍 10👎
This is a severe condition in which the infected is incapable of spitting "game" at the opposite sex. Symptoms include loss of speech when attractive female approaches, temporary weakening of one's spine and loss of backbone (i.e. courage), loss of all communication skills when around the opposite sex, hyperventilating, excessive sweating, jitters, stuttering, and outbursts of loud inaudible speech. In the most severe of cases the infected is prone to getting game "spat" at him. This disease only affects males.
Yo, son I heard Gunlee got that FBS Syndrome.
Ya, he does man last week some girl asked HIM to prom, got HIS digits, bought HIS dinner, and walked HIM home.
Wait doesn't that girl have a boyfriend, oh Gunlee just got played....that darn FBS Syndrome (Female Bagged Syndrome).
3👍 4👎
when you dumbass fat friend asks the teacher in class if we need a sleeping bag for our presentation about africa.
Do we need a sleeping bag for the presentation
Filling your dead friend's mouth with whiskey and tea bagging them at the funeral.
Patrick's funeral is today, I shaved my balls and got 25 year old whiskey for him. Can't wait to give him a proper Irish Wake Tea Bag.
4👍 67👎
Some stories are so boring, even adding and then I found five dollars won't save them. Adding "and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed" to the end of your boring ass story, will validate for your friends all that time and facial expressiveness they just wasted listening to it, and they will remember why they are friends with you in the first place, because a friend with weed is a friend indeed.
"Oh man, Friday, I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and I was like, 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And then, by the time I was done, I didn't really feel like like eating it...and then I found five dollars and a bag of weed..."
"Bet you felt like eating the sandwich then! Oh man, when are we hanging out, Andy?"
47👍 6👎
A kids mom died so he made a song but it started of with I put my dick in a bag of Doritos.
Johnny: I put my dick in a bag of Doritos
16👍 1👎