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No matter what you do, you can't win. A situation so fucked up that it's pointless to try to fix it.
When my wife walked in on me and my girlfriend (who thought i was single), I figured it was best not to talk. It would be like bathing a cat
Squish that cat
All you need to know
Is to
SQUISH
THAT
CAT
And you just gently squish 'em.
That's not comfortable for the cat
Or, that safe to be honest with you
You can just throw a towel on the cat
And squish 'em with a towel,
Or you can do this scooper upper thing
Football carry just like that
Butt in your hand
And you SQUISH em tight to your body
You know, SQUISH them against your body.
And there we go, we just made friends
With this wonderful lil' cat.
Look at that face
LOOK AT THAT FACE
Squishing is your best friend
When you're dealing with a cat.
You just lean over, squish them nice and tight,
Then again, I'm SQUISHING them into myself
We always squish that cat.
Person 1: Do you prefer to squish that cat with a towel, or by giving them a lil' football carry?
Person 2: I prefer to squish my cat with a towel! How about you?
Person 1: I enjoy giving my cat a lil' football carry.
Person 2: Wow, I love meeting people with different preferences! Thank you for politely joining me in this 100% natural and non-scripted conversation!
Person 1: You're welcome, it was a pleasure analyzing different methods of squishing a cat with you!
When you can't move because your cat is laying on you. Usually you are comfortable with it and don't want to move.
Please get me the remote I have cat paralysis!
I can't look I have cat paralysis.
Another name for a girl's pussy (usually when it's bare)
Bertha was walking around the house wearing nothing but a long T shirt airing out that nasty cat of hers.
Contrary to popular belief, a trash cat is actually an opossum. Hobbies include: long walks dirty streets, eating trash by the sunset, and getting hit by cars in their free time
My friend's are just a bunch of trash cats .
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A ferret. Called a cat snake because they have mammalian characteristics of a cat but are long and squrimy like a snake. Ferrets aren't any kind of cat or rodent, they're actually a domesticated weasel.
The cat snake is rolling in my laundry basket.
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