ass condom

1) The heterosexual act that helps a friend not get an STD with a woman; Man #1 sticks his male reproductive organ into a Man #2's behind, while that Man #2 puts his penis into the woman, therefore protecting Man #1 from any vaginal diseases. It's only 97% effective.
2) The Blocking of another cock (less frequently used)

1)- "I don't want to get her fat genes if I have sexual relations with her."
- "It's okay, I'll be your ass condom."
- "Thanks, your the best friend ever."

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Tongue Condom

When you're chewing bubblegum and your about to blow a bubble, and coat your tongue in the gum, resembling a condom. On your tongue.

-girl sticks out her tongue-
DUDE: Haha, youve got on a tongue condom!

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No condom rule

Fucking without a condom but making sure you pull out before you cum

"wanna do no condom rule?"

"sure but make sure you pull out."

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Australian Condom

A form of contraception supposedly used as the primary method of birth control in Australia. The Australian condom is not purchased, but rather made at home using simple materials. All one must do to use this method is simply insert a hot glue gun into the head of his penis and inject enough glue to form a proper seal. Though this is 99.9% effective in white males, it only maintains a 50% succsess rate in black males. This is due to the fact that members of the black population have very elongated and therefore powerful penises. The force of a black ejaculation can be accurately compared to the blast force of a cork being shot from a bottle of champagne. The force of a white ejaculation is only about 1/20th as powerful as a black one, thus the 99.9% sucsess rate.

Cranky mate! That aboriginal just blew out his australian condom like a blasted wombat out of a damn didgeridoo!

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bale of condoms

a @#%load of condoms. Usually found at Costco.

Hesh: "I'd like a tank of gasoline and a bale of condoms."

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condom-wank

A condom-wank is a jack-off session a guy has while wearing a condom so there's no clean-up required.

I sometimes have a condom-wank because there's no clean-up required!

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jalapeno condom

1. when someone uses a jalapeno flavored condom

2. when a crazy bastard rubs jalapeno on his dick to make it spicy

1. damn that guy uses jalapeno condoms
2. oh making your own jalapeno condom burns

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