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Corroded Johnson

Recieving a Handjob with a wet piece of sandpaper while under the influence of drugs or alcohol .If you notice what is happening and you are in pain, you know you've had a Corroded Johnson

man, i went to my friends house for a sleepover and his mom gave me a Corroded Johnson..Thrice!

by Nick. Hienz April 30, 2005

6๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


The Johnson Crew

A well known Birmingham gang. Rivals of The Burger Bar Boys. Known for gun crime and being dangerous.
They were also involved in the new year murders of two girls (they died in a shootout between The Johnson Crew and The Burger Bar Boys).

The burger bar boys were in town so The johnson crew came down as well.

by T-Kay December 6, 2006

24๐Ÿ‘ 20๐Ÿ‘Ž


a "Johnson" answer

When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.

To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.

I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.

by dying_fish September 20, 2020

9๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jack Johnsoned

When one listens to the same song or artist in excess, and grows tired of it.

"I used to like that song, but then I Jack Johnsoned it..."

by Smelly Tired Nerd July 11, 2008

8๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Skippy Johnson

The act of inserting a cow's heart into a person's anal canal, after which point the recipient must achieve orgasm within 10 seconds, otherwise the inserter must rip the recipient's molars out with pliers.

Thinking ahead, Stephen grabbed the needle-nosed pliers from his father's tool shed on the way to the pasture, where he gave his girlfriend ellen a rather memorable Skippy Johnson.

A cow's heart in one hand, needle-nosed pliers in the other, Derek questioned whether tonight was the right night to give Shari her first Skippy Johnson, and whether she would make the 10-second cut.

by S.J. June 10, 2006

9๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ray Johnson

when you rip a fart right in front of some one and then just casually walk away

dude I just pulled a Ray Johnson on the bus driver when I was getting off

by i am a pseudonym April 5, 2010

9๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Heather Johnson

A heather johnson generally loves long walks in the park, boys who are above 5 foot 7, and makes awesome almond cookies. She does not like it when her friends moan in her car (accidentally) or when her roommate talks in a baby voice to her boyfriend. She does like playing civil war, and pretty much kicks major ass at it (so don't even play, nigga'.) Heather's a highly dangerous, and should never be approached from behind. Ever. Naw'mean? A heather johnson has a best friend who talks about queefing, and that's all you should know. Oh, and she finds super cute cats at k-mart.

I am Heather Johnson. I don't date faggot ass midgets.

by thecoolestmofoeva November 28, 2010

11๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž