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1. A derogatory phrase used to describe an individual, male or female, who is useless, unnecessary, and therefore completely undesirable in any situation. Salad spoons tend to be emotional creatures and lack a good sense of humor. They have the amazing ability to ruin any fun, completely destroy good moods, undermine positive vibes, and totally suck in general.
Nobody needs a spoon to eat a salad, and nobody wants to be around a lame ass salad spoon.
Salad spoons are the modern day version of a wet blanket .
2. A salad spoon moment is any time that an otherwise legit individual has a momentary lapse of gangster and therefore exposes a temporary vulnerability. Referring to this moment as a salad spoon moment is a way to bring comic relief to the situation.
Calling these soft and emotional outbursts salad spoon moments is the modern day equivalent of saying no homo .
"Yo, you know you're my boy, right? I need you to know that... I love you, man.. You are my best friend, seriously, and I don't know what I'd do without you." / "This salad spoon moment was brought to you by tequila, Marlboro Reds, and the letter D."
"Hey, man. All the homies are going to a dope ass house party tonight. Then we're heading to the strip club to make it rain on some topless bitches. You down?" / "Nah, I can't. It's Friday night so I am helping my mom clean the tubes on the vacuum cleaner, then taking my girlfriend to see the new Twilight movie."
"Hey, man. I was walking downtown when I saw a church on fire, so I ran in and saved one thousand orphans from certain death, then continued walking home. Then I was attacked by a rabid grizzly bear, which I fought off with my bare hands. Now I'm pretty sure the bear is stalking me and planning to eat me alive. I'm only a few blocks from your crib - can you pick me up? I really need a ride." / "Well, sorry, bro, but I really shouldn't be driving in this condition. I already drank two whole fuzzy navel wine coolers while I was organizing my collection of Ed Hardy t-shirts, and it's dangerous to drink and drive."
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A true test of male bonding, whereby one gentleman of sound mind and kindred spirit, befriends a casual aquaintance of his dearest fellow stag, and understands the pressures and limitations of a "spooning" relationship, and feels the desire to aid the demands of the female entity, and hence "hijacks" a proportion of the workload, of course with the best intentions for all.
After which, an agreement is made to perpetuate this arrangement until the needs of the damsel have been adequately fulfilled
Michael: That birds been around a few times this week mate, are you sure you're up to the task?
Peter: Not a problem, my friend JC has been more than happy to share the workload. And even though I cannever recall asking him, I'm relieved he's there for me
Tim: Seems like a clear cut case of Spoon Jacking to me, and we should all be very grateful
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When "Spooning" with a lover, the little spoon bends their top half around to kiss the big spoon.
hey baby, fancy some Spoon-bending?
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Mayonez spoon is the youtube life of Boris' spoon that he eats mayonez with
Antonio put down my mayonez spoon before I eat u with it also u nan gopnik
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The act of spooning but with a boner. Usually done by two people who are friends/lovers.
Not only were we spooning, but we were wooden spooning.
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A kind, tall, handsome, charismatic man (see RICK) that isn't complete unless he's accompanied by a smaller lady (see LISA, Little Spoon) whose body compliments the coordinating position in which he sleeps. Warning: If a Big Spoon and Little Spoon reproduce, their offspring would most likely be nerds.
"Aww, my little spoon is still here!" - Big Spoon
Note: The little spoon did not leave quietly in the wee morning hours like the stealth little spoon that she is.
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Improbable natural impregnation because:
1. A woman is grossly unattractive.
2. A man is so unattractive/ineffectual/impotent that he could in no way father a child claimed to be his.
3.A woman's promiscuity brings paternity into doubt.
1. Jesus, man, she's so ugly I wouldn't breed with her even if it was a spoon job.
2. Yeah right, it's his! Must have been a spoon job.
3. She'd have more chance of knowing who the father is if it were a spoon job.
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