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When a large majority of obese people get together in a circle to wash each others nether regions.
Since I'm unable to reach my own ass to wipe, I have to coordinate weekly Orbital Wipe Sessions with my other fat friends to get things done.
A team of absolute legends wipe the board 2-0 with extreme ease.
Yo Matthias we just Chug Jug Wiped these fools!
The act of ejaculating on a tissue, freezing it and using it as an ice pack.
John fell down stairs last night when he was drunk so I gave him an alaskan wet wipe to help his wounds.
The poop that never comes off your ass
I have benn plagued by the curse of a thousand wipes
When you take a huge shit that requires a lot of toilet paper squares.
Tom: Sorry Jerry I missed the game, I had to take the 1000 Square Wipe
This is to be celebrated on the second Tuesday of every year. After taking a poop on this special day, you wipe your butt once, and only once. No exceptions. It doesn’t matter how large or smelly the poop is, you only wipe once.
Brett: Oh my god! Why do you smell like shit?!
Cameron: It’s one wipe Tuesday! Don’t tell me you’ve been wiping more than once!
When you have a raw asshole or you're just environmental so you fold some TP over 3 times and put a little spittle on it to wipe your ass with a moist cloth rather than raw TP.
Wet wives clog the drains, even the flushable ones, so I use the ghetto wet wipe.