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A person that is obsessed with social media and feels the constant need of having to be online. This often comes with a complete disregard to actual social beings. They often make use of Facebook, WhatsApp and twitter.
They can physically be recognized by their posture. No matter where they are or in what situation, the Social Zombie always has a smartphone in front of them and their head bent downwards looking at the screen.
At party's they can be seen sitting on the sides of the room in total silence while looking at their phones, and while driving on the street they can randomly occur out of nowhere trying to cross a road while their eyes are focused on the screen instead of the direction they are actually going. They also appear in cinemas, when the room is completely dark while the movie is playing, suddenly a bright light of a smartphone display interrupts your view.
Because they find their digital life more important than their surroundings they do not respond to complaints by sane humans. And sometimes in the midst of a conversation (sometimes they can still talk in real life), they abruptly forget anything you say and instantly put their mind at their social page. Their mind is fused with their phone.
Lastly they create an excess of unnecessary status updates.
(Names are randomly picked)
Eric: So I was at work today, and suddenly this guy tripped, and pulled a shelf with him while he fell! it was a real mess, you should have seen it!
John (Social Zombie): .......
Eric: John?
John: ....... huh? come again?
Eric: argh, I was at work, this guy fell and it was a complete mess!
John: ......wait hold on...... this guy liked my photo.
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Status update John: I just went to the bathroom.
Status update John: I think my curtain is wrinkled.
Status update John: Why do girls not like me?
Status update John: I can't find my phone's recharger! Life SUCKS!
Status update John: Hi
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On the street: SZ's walk with head down, looking at smartphone, often get involved in a lethal car crash accident.
In the store: Standing in front of something you want to grab from the shelf, not moving an inch.
In the cinema: overly bright display ruins your view. SZ finds Whatsapp more important than movie (Seriously what are they doing there?)
On the bike: swaying from left to right while riding, making it unable to pass them.
Within the car: swaying from one lane to another, ignoring traffic lights, running over sane human pedestrians, delayed response.
Going out: Barely speak, easy target for thieves, blocking your path everywhere.
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if a zombie bites a tree that tree will get the zombie virus and will grow legs from its roots arms from its branches and a mouth somewhere on the trunk, if this tree produces fruit then the fruit will also be evil zombie fruits.
guy 1: why is that tree running towards me
guy2: that is a zombie tree
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You're having sex and your partners glass eye pops out so you pull out and forcefully ejaculate into their empty eye socket
She would have made her interview but I gave her the zombie eye
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Slang term for homosexual male. One who gets it in the butt so often the walk stiff legged like a zombie.
"That guy is walking strangly"
..""he must be a rump zombie"
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-A person, normally under the age of 18, who incessantly asks to bum cigarettes or asks for someone of legal age to purchase cigarettes for them.
-They extend their open hand like a zombie. Instead of 'brains,' they groan, 'cigarette'.
-Found often at skate spots, the mall, or hanging around elementary and middle schools which they no longer go to.
Rob: Have you seen Noah lately?
Bob: Yeah, I left his ass at the gas station when he wouldn't stop asking me to get him cigarettes yesterday.
Rob: I told you to never give him any. He's turned into a cigarette zombie. And he use to be such a good kid.
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When you are jacking off near your partner and are about to cum. You angle your load and nut in her face. Attempt to get it on her eyes, and mouth. When she wakes up she will make zombie noises.
Austin:Bro! Did you hear what Eric did to his chick?
Josh: No what?
Austin: He zombie shot his lady!
Josh: No way! Did she scream like a zombie.
Giving a hand job to a guy who is sleepwalking. If done correctly, the guy should be shambling about and moaning. Like a zombie.
Girl 1: My boyfriend got out of bed and started sleepwalking last night.
Girl 2: Really? What did you do?
Girl 1: I jerked him because he tells me I never do.
Girl 2: Oh, so you pulled a zombie.