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This is to be celebrated on the second Tuesday of every year. After taking a poop on this special day, you wipe your butt once, and only once. No exceptions. It doesn’t matter how large or smelly the poop is, you only wipe once.
Brett: Oh my god! Why do you smell like shit?!
Cameron: It’s one wipe Tuesday! Don’t tell me you’ve been wiping more than once!
When you have a raw asshole or you're just environmental so you fold some TP over 3 times and put a little spittle on it to wipe your ass with a moist cloth rather than raw TP.
Wet wives clog the drains, even the flushable ones, so I use the ghetto wet wipe.
When going for #2 and no toilet paper is available you use dirty kleenex for the waste basket
Was at Adam's the other night had to shit so bad he didn't have any tp so I didn't have a choice but waste basket wipe.
When you take a huge shit that requires a lot of toilet paper squares.
Tom: Sorry Jerry I missed the game, I had to take the 1000 Square Wipe
This person doesn't care about anyone else but themselves. They treat others like shit and don't care about the feelings of others as long as they get what they want.
Look at that fucken ass wipe on his cell phone racing up to the stop sign looking like he's going to blow through it. He doesn't even care that I had to slam on my brakes thinking he wasn't going to stop.
When you're wiping your ass and it never seems to stop.
Last night, I was wiping a brown marker for fifteen minutes.
The act of ejaculating on a tissue, freezing it and using it as an ice pack.
John fell down stairs last night when he was drunk so I gave him an alaskan wet wipe to help his wounds.