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Similar to a whipping boy, however a wank boy should be ready at a moment's notice to prepare any materials a man may need for self-pleasuring purposes. A wank boy is responsible for set-up and clean up. A wank boy organizes any necessary material, videos, pictures, magazines, lotions, tissues or any other specific items requested.
Oh "Wank Boy"!
Yes sir? I am on my way!
Please turn the page to girl-on-girl today.
Yes sir, right away sir!.
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The phantom jerk is performed when one is bored with casual conversation and wishes to cause a disturbance. Essentially, when the speaker enters an excessively boring stretch of context, the listener quickly makes a masturbating motion with one hand, never longer than one second in duration. Eye contact must be held, because the aim is to distract the speaker but appear to not have done anything. The follow-up must be perfect: remain emotionless, because otherwise the speaker will know what's up. They'll often ask what just happened, but the jerk-ee must deny all involvement.
Worker 1: Yeah, so at Tina's party last night, she got totally hammered, man. Afterwards we went to that new pub downtown, 'cause I heard they had some smashing sweet potato crisps, and-
Worker 2: *fapfapfap*
Worker 1: - some sort of new mixed dri.. What the fuck was that, mate?
Worker 2: What was what?
Worker 1: I could've sworn you just had a wank at me.
Worker 2: I haven't a clue what you're talking about. What're you implying? (Phantom wank successful.)
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Noun. The act of engaging in mutual masturbation only, or engage in cybersex, with a partner without actual intercourse taking place.
Verb. To engage solely in mutual masturbation, or engage in cybersex, with a partner and nothing else.
Filbert and I had a wank and thank last night on instant messenger.
Lisa wanked and thanked with her ex-boyfriend after they broke up.
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Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.
during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.
"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".
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This is when you masturbate in an unusual way.
You could be upside down at the time, using two elbows, your feet, sports equipment or rolling pins.
The purpose of extreme wanking is to spice up your wank life
Extreme Wanking example
The Andre Agassi : Double back hander
1. Assume a seated position
2. Point your legs to the heavens.
3. Put your hands underneath your legs.
4. Put both hands around your penis.
5. Enjoy!
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The act of masturbating into a curtain.
Mostly done into somebody else's curtain, other than your own. You don't want your drapes all spunky now, do you.
John: dude, you split up with dat hoe yet?
Jack: nah, m8
John: dooo it faggot, give her the curtain wank treatment
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A name used to describe someone who is a proper time-wasting bell-end, a really useless prick.
"Dave hasn't turned up for work again, he's a proper wank pellet
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