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my favorite thing in the whole world
i do love me some oiled up big black guys
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The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
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The most broken monster in the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game today.
Player 1: How'd you lose?
Player 2: Opponent Creature Swapped me a Scapegoat, summoned Black Luster Soldier, Envoy of the Beginning, then hit me for 6000 and game.
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Sorta like the Star Wars kid, minus the huge life-ruining embarassment. Only this kid mimes out a Black Dahlia Murder.
Go to video.google.com and type in "funeral thirst".
I just spent like five minutes watching the Black Dahlia Murder kid headbang.
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The fastest color in the universe when applied to a Dodge Charger
The Brilliant Black Crystal Pearl Coat Dodge Charger R/T that just passed your TorRed Charger on the freeway has been scientifically proven to be the fastest color in the universe when applied to a Dodge Charger.
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When an African American male named Hary does not shave his pubic region.
Damn Hary, My African American friend, you do not shave your pubic hairs. Some say you have a long hary black penis.
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A person with the last name Creech who is known to smoke many blunts a day. You will often find a CREECH FROM THE BLACK LAGOON to have a special room in their house designatd for marijuana use, often called "The Weed Room". If you know a CREECH FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, consider yourself lucky and blessed to be in the presence of such an amazing creature.
DUDE! look over there! THE CREECH FROM THE BLACK LAGOON is smoking the biggest blunt ever!
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