The most Jared thing a Jared could ever do is be named Jared. They are constantly taking bathroom breaks each one longer then the last. They are experts in the arts of PC building and take pride in the fact that they know how to build a Lego or two (thanks to an engineering background). Expect them to talk about their Linus Tech Tips water bottle every now and then. That is just the Jared way.
Wow, is that guy who built is own PC out of nothing but dirt and grass? He's such a Jared!
Someone who is both a jock and a nerd
That guy is such a jared; taking all APs and captain of the water polo team.
His name starts with J.. that’s a red flag. Probably a cheater. Sneaky liar.
A Jared is someone who is both athletic and a bit of a geek. He gets his girlfriend pregnant by Junior year in High school. He'll leave his ex for a bigger titty bitch.
"Jared, we're through!"
One of the cutest most amazing guys you could ever meet
He is very sweet and also sexy
"you know Jared from socioeconomics? He doesn't think I deserve rights."
Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.
In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."