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Someone who only smokes dank and detests reggie fags
Evan: "Bro, did you smell that smoke?"
Fabio: "Yeah, gross, smells like reggie. I'll never even taste reg for i am a dank douchebag"
Someone who through themselves or their progeny has no accomplishments whatsoever, but always has an opinion.
Tim Lankins is a douchebag supreme. Just ask his ex.
When a 49 year old woman needs to have her hearing checked.
Mom: Your father called me a Portuguese Douchebag at dinner the other night! I’m not even Portuguese!
Dad: We all know your mother is crazy! I whispered something sweet in her ear and she thinks I called her a Portuguese Douchebag!
A digital douchebag is the ultimate techno geek whose entire life is pretty much centered around all things digital and wireless.
You may be a digital douchebag if you:
1. Wear your Bluetooth headset to bed.
2. Walk around in public places incessantly yapping on your Bluetooth in such a way that anyone within a half-mile can hear your conversation.
3. Check your e-mail 100 times or more per day.
4. Cannot engage in a conversation with anyone without talking about the latest internet/wireless technology, etc.
5. Are over 30, live in your parents' basement, and spend almost every waking hour online.
6. Are a hopeless textaholic
7. Go to Aruba for vacation and spend most of your time on your laptop.
8. Text your wife, while cleaning out your garage, to find out what's for lunch.
The above are just a few examples of this affliction; there are many others.
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A bag of douchebags.
You're a douchebag!
Oh yeah, well you're a douchebag bag!
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1 a : One who regularly inserts a douchebag probe in his anal canal for pleasure
2 a : One who regularly inserts a douchebag probe in his anal canal for pleasure... and fills it with PEROXIDE... a solution whose WARNING label states, FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
3 a : British : a rude awakening
A brilliant NYC HS teacher inserted a long douchebag probe into his anal canal, then filled it with PEROXIDE, yes, a solution whose WARNING label states, DANGER, FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.
TRUE STORY: A NYC High School BIOLOGY teacher, carefully (obviously without much thought)-(because he regularly performs idiotic acts - and we must point out that "only" if necessary, he will think about them after the action has taken place) at any rate, this "brilliant" HS teacher inserted a long douchebag probe into his anal canal, then filled it with "PEROXIDE"... yes, a solution whose WARNING label states, "DANGER, FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY"... to cleans it out well, (can we say EXTREEMLY & moronically well)... so bloody well, that the walls of his intestines fried & before he can realize what an idiotic action he just inflicted upon his own self, he began to excrete blood & vomit out of his ass, for a good week. What some people do for prostate stimulation is quite disturbing... WAS THIS IDOIT BORN THIS WAY, OR DID HE LEARN HOW TO BE SO FREAKING DUMB?
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A kid who decides to open an insurance agency and can't tell his head from his ass. Meanwhile, making boat loads of money can't afford to do anything with his hair and looks like a total DOUCHEBAG!
Hey, look at that douchebag in the Jaguar. He can afford that car and not do something with that hair!
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