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A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
Edward Cullen: Say it, Say it out loud.
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
12👍 78👎
like edward 40 hands but instead of 40s you tape stiiizys to your hands. specifically stiiizy gold if youre on that fuck distillate 2020 wave
bro: what are you going to the halloween part as?
me: edward stiiizy hands.
bro: yoooo lemme hit
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When you tape a 40 to each hand and can't take them off until you are finishied drinking them.
I almost pissed myself last night during an intense game of edward 40 hands.
2931👍 405👎
the hottest man alive. his music can take to outer space. but make sure u stay out of his kitchen.
Harry Edward Styles is my idol
52👍 5👎
A "guy" (so "he" says) who goes to Pistor Middle School who is gay. Always seen with a shitload of "his" girlfriends, but not in a straight kind of way. Looks like big-ass headed lizard who was fucked up in the ass-hole of Elton John. Infact, he really has been up there. If compered to Elton John, Elton John will actually look straight. Hangs out with Norma Garcia, and Mercedes Madrid: who are also gay.
See him over there? He had a sex change!
4👍 22👎
Leader of the fastly growing street gang MS-13. Eddie "Speddy" DeJesus has been working his way up the ranks of MS-13 for some time now...and has just been listed Number 1 on every states most wanted list in the country. Known Alias' "Big E" "Fast Eddie" and "Spedward DeRetard".
Edward DeJesus The most dangerous puerto rican teddy bear...known to man.
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A game designed to intoxicate all participants where 40oz bottles of cheap malt beverages are fastened to each hand by adhesive tapes or super-glue in some cases. The winner will have consumed all liquid in both bottles and usually celebrates by smashing the first bottle to remove it, and using the free hand to urinate into the second. Studies at the University of Colorado in Boulder conclude that the best way to be victorious in this game, without fear of urinating yourself, is to start the game with your penis already un-tucked,out of your pants. Ladies in the study, who opted to go in skirts without undergarments, fared well however did not ever claim a victory.
"You down for a game of edward 40 hands?"
"nah, its too cold to play edward 40 hands"
844👍 148👎