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When the carpet by the side of your bed gets hard from all the jizz you ejaculate and later get rid of by smearing it on the side of the carpet. Later that morning when you step on the dry jizz it makes that CRUNCH noise.
carpet+jizz= captain crunch carpet
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The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.
"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."
32👍 5👎
When a guy from a great height takes a watery shit all over a load of people partying
Yo Dude did you get invited to Gibbs party?
No man, but i'm gonna take a load of laxative, sneak into the rafters then give them all a Bulgarian Carpet Bomb
Woah Dude Rightgeous
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Ninjas that hide in carpets, only slightly less prolific than other household pests, but way more deadly.
Always routinely check your carpets for carpet ninjas.
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An extremely difficult sexual maneuver whereby a group of men quietly sneak into the bedroom of an unsuspecting woman (or man) and proceed to masturbate over them.
The resulting noise will eventually wake the victim to a horror comparable to that of the citizens of Darwin when the city was bombed by the Japanese in 1941
"Yeah dude we're planning on doing a Darwin Carpet-bomber later on tonight - poor Joey isn't going to know what hit him"
"I woke up last night to those assholes doing a Darwin Carpet-Bomber over me"
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A male who eats out a female following another man ejaculating into a female.
Person 1: That dude's so beta, he ate out his girl after someone else did all the work!
Person 2: Hey man, no shame in being a carpet cleaner.
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