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A phrase used to describe someone's epic fail. This expression comes from the moment in the game Super Smash Bros Melee in which an epic pokémon is expected to come out and fucking rape the opponents, but goldeen pops out of the poke-ball and does nothing. Instead your shit gets smashed off the stage.
Brosef: "So I was laying next to my GF texting when my phone slipped out of my hand, fell on her face, and broke her nose."
Da'man: "Nice Goldeen!"
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A young male who will give up countless hours listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends who talk about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because he actually believes listening and genuinely caring is going to eventually get him laid. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls, the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because he himself will always compare his “ordinary” physical appearance to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is. The female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features because for her it's better than dealing with a man that will grovel at her feet when she tries to break up with him because he doesn't understand how pathetic and transparent appeasement really is.
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided long before he realizes that putting up the effort to deal with a shallow, materialistic bitch is worth even so much as one ounce of his time and energy. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will never even think about dating a nice guy in the future, which in turn will make the every other nice guy on the planet feel even more depressed because they all devote so much time and energy to being exactly what many other shallow, materialistic bitches know how to avoid men who are warped from being exposed to rejection they'll never understand to the point that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that nice guys primarily notice the physical appearances of other men and become insanely jealous to the point where they believe shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty” because they never realize they are driving these women straight into the arms of these assholes, usually because they don't understand that always being nice makes every nice act completely meaningless and disgenuine for a woman because that's all they do 24/7.
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex while playing some ps2 because all I know how to do is be a sickly sweet doormat and feel sorry for myself. Please love me with your pity."
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something that doesn’t exist
i wish there was a nice boy :/
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Guys who treat women nicely but never get girl friends because all girls like jerk guys. Contrary to other beliefs this is a not a negative thing because the nice guy will use this to his advantage as he will have more money for himself because some girl is not taking it all and when the nice guy is living "nicely" with a big house and nice car, women are going to wish that hadn't treated the nice guy mean. So all in all, being a nice guy isn't a bad because you will have what matters in the end, MONEY!
Johnny- Hey look at jacob, he is a nice guy to all the girls but he will never lose his virginity because girls wont date him.
Robby- I like his style, he's going to have lots of money later in life cause he didnt waste it on bitches
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Nice Guy
1. Term commonly used for self-description by men who routinely fail to capture the interest of any women. The name is a misnomer because typically these men fail to exhibit any attitudes or behaviors that would distinguish them as "nice". These men are the lifeblood of the mail order bride industry.
Characteristics include:
-Lack of any backbone or moral fiber that would allow them to even consider that perhaps their own faults and shortcomings are the root of their problems
-Bitterness and self-pity that is expressed by pronouncing all women idiots who would rather date jerks
-delusions of grandeur/revenge fantasies in which at age 40-50 they will suddenly become irresistible to 20-something Angelina Jolie (except hotter)look-alikes while all the women who rejected them decades earlier will be single and living with 200 cats.
I'm 35 years old and still living at home, I have no life, and the only girlfriend I've ever had is made out of plastic, but women don't want me because I'm such a nice guy.
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The state of being bitchy in a nice twist. A perfect blend of politeness and bitchiness all in one sentence.
I really hate that mirror you got me!!!! ..Thanks...But I hate it.
Can you shut up?...please?
Those are but little examples of bitchy nice
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