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the hottest baseball player in major league baseball and hits mad dingers
did you hear christian yelich hit a homerun ... again?
The name given to a Christian who attends church on a Sunday and pretends to be nice and kind yet outside of the building and for every other day of the week is simply a nasty bastard who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. Normally hangs around in cliques and is very critical, condescending and judgemental.
Things a typical Sunday Christian say.
"Jean, there's a man outside the church who needs something to eat. He looks very cold and hungry."
"Enough of your nonsense, I've done my Christian duty for today and besides I need to get home as there's a TV show I want to watch."
"That's not very charitable. Look, there's a tin of tuna on the side and a loaf of bread. I think we can extend some Christian love to this gentleman."
"You listen here. Don't you get on the wrong side of me or I shall write a scathing letter to the church elders about what I see as your impertinence. Now, don't you cross me. Just usher him away and let's get out of here. I've got better things to be doing with my time than spending time with low-lifes like him."
"Yes Jean."
A variation of meme who, upon making eye contact, will either absent-mindedly bite his top lip and wink at you or attack you with all manner of heinous verbal insults and accusations (with the occasional threat of anal rape). This is entirely dependent on the target's gender. A Christian Fidelis can often be seen wearing long sleeve t-shirts affiliated with any street wear label that charges over $100 AUD for cheap quality apparel. The majority of a Christian Fidelis' time is spent in the company of a Muche Shumba, a professional photographer and lord of "gathos". When not riding the Muche Shumba, a Christian Fidelis will either make attempts to get his attention or incessantly pester him for favours including, but not limited to:
- asking for photographs
- begging for compliments on fashion sense; hairstyle and "shoe game";
- and general approval and acceptance of existence.
The most effective way to successfully provoke a Christian Fidelis is to suggest that the relationship shared between him and the Muche has escalated from friendship to one where sexual activity is desired. The defensive mechanism a Christian Fidelis will employ in retaliation to said provocation involve:
- calling the offender a homosexual
- making a page on Instagram dedicated to roasting the offender
- crying to the Muche and other gatho veterans for support
One distinct physical feature found on a Christian Fidelis is a rapidly receding hairline.
Guy 1: "Hey, look at this photo taken by Muche Shumba."
Guy 2: "Hahaha look at his hair, it's the same as my grandpa's!"
Guy 1: "I know right, what a Christian Fidelis."
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More commenly known as CC he is the drummer in Black Veil Brides. Although no one ever seems to think he's a good guy he's actually one of the funniest guys in the band, also his accent tends to amuse english people.
He replaced Sandra Alvarenga for the second album, sometimes he gets bad mouth because he's done something or said something that offends someone, but he's really a good guy.
not-so-true fan; Oh my god! The drummer, whatshisname, just threw his drumstick at Ashley! The Bastard!
Real fan; It was an accident you idiot, and his name is CC...now get out of my sight.
Real fan1; Yeah I heard Sandra left, who replaced her again...
Real fan2; Christian Coma remember!
Fake-fan; Oh the one who looks like a pidgeon!
real fan 1&2; ...not funny.
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In which you baptise your anus
I've been quite naughty as of late, I believe I should go to Father Greg for a Christian Enema
A revolutionized form of Dabbing. This form allows one to not only indulge in their inner fantasies of dabbing but also be one with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. How it is performed is you place both palms together, as if praying to your lord and savior, then bow your head into one elbow while pointing your praying hands the other way.
Matthew: Hey John, have you experienced the holy spirit yet?
John: I am about to real soon, isn't that right Mark and Luke?
Mark and Luke: Oh yeah.
All Christian Dabbing
All together: Praise Jesus!
The type of Christianity practiced by right wing Republicans.
Those who practice this form of Christianity believe that,
A. God speaks to the leaders of the party, and George W. Bush in particular.
B. Bush was personally annointed by God and God himself gave him his marching orders.
C. True and patriotic Americans believe in Republican Christianity.
D. Those who don't believe in this form of Christianity are liberals, communists, terrorist sympathizers, traitors, and idiots.
E. That Christ commands people to only vote Republican.
F. Those who are not Christian should be invaded, especially to settle the Presiden't family scores and if they are sitting on lots of oil.
G. These people believe that it's only wrongdoing when committed by a Democrat.
H. Those involved with this sort of religion focus on the portions of morality while entirely ignoring parts about taking care of poor and vulnerable people.
George W. Bush ignores what Jesus said about taking care of the "least of my brothers." He ignores the command to love neighbor as self. He ignores the command to take care of the poor and vulnerable of this world. He fails to realize that to lead us he must be our servants, instead he thinks that we must be his servants.
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