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The shoe trumpet is when you cut the end of a shoe off and insert it in your partners private part and blow air into it to fill her up and make her queef
"Yo I tried the shoe trumpet with Tammy lee last night she queefed so long"
To stick your dick inside of a trumpet, and for it to play.
Well after he fucked the trumpet, he became a trumpet dick!
His dick is now the shape of a trumpet, and can play the trumpet on its own!
When you sense you lady friend is about to flatulate in the act of cunnilingus, reach your hand between her loins open palmed and gently press against her bum hole, and control the release of wind at your discretion.
Jake: "I can't go down on my wife after Taco Tuesday, if you know what I mean."
Matt: "Yo, you gotta play the muffled trumpet. Works wonders with Lexi. She loves it."
Jake: "Just get up in there?"
Matt: "I straight Miles Davised Lexi last Tuesday. Just take it into your own hands. Pun intended."
The act of accidentally touching the moist freezing rim of the toilet with the end of your cock whilst you sit on the shitter contemplating life and snapchatting your nearest and dearest.
It is by the most uncomfortable experience a man can endure.
"Man, I just experienced a chilly trumpet whilst snapping Jessica about what happened in Oceana last night"
"Oh dear how unpleasant!"
When you are not sure if someone is a male or female.
Look at that trumpet cookie walking down the street!
Man, the bird website just isn’t the same now that they’ve actually gone and kicked Donge l’Orange de la Trumpeter Swange out of the nest.
A male sex organ witch contains a copious amount of prepuce
Jon’s skin trumpet goes crazy with that extra foreskin!