i before e except after c except when

I before e except after c except when your foreign neighbor Keith received eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.

I before e except after c except when... this is what they taught you in the third grade math instead of how to pay taxes or something.

10👍 1👎

when i was a lad i ate four dozen eggs

a lyric in the son gaston from beauty in the beast that some people remix

P1: How are you so fit?

P2: not to toot my own horn but when i was a lad i ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large

P1: oh ok

when you try so hard but you don't succseed

Because you don't know how to spell succeed!

I can't spell succeed! See, When you try so hard but you don't succseed!

7👍 1👎

Blowing out the candle, when your house is on fire

Focusing on a less relevant or less important task when something major needs to be done.

Delaying the inevitable

Sarah: "Isn't you final year project due in for tomorrow?"
Robert:....yeah
Sarah" Then why aren't you working on it?"
Robert: "I'm checking UrbanDictionary..for a laugh"
Sarah:" You have to stop blowing out the candle, when your house is on fire dude"
Robert: "What does that mean?"
Sarah: "Check it on Urban Dictionary"
INSERT VICIOUS CYCLE

4👍 7👎

I remember when I had my first beer.

A sentence said when one is acting very immature to the point of extreme annoyance, as in how a young person may act when they have their first alcoholic beverage. Can also be said to somebody who is acting irritatingly foolish when drinking, or to a lightweight at drinking. Taken from a line Will Ferrell says to John C. Reilly in the comedy "Step Brothers".

1. Guy 1: "Dude, that Coors Light is gettin' to me!"

Guy 2: "Yeeeeah, I remember when I had my first beer..."

2. Guy 1: "You're such a butthead."

Guy 2: "Wow. I remember when I had my first beer."

125👍 69👎

I hate it when people take advantage of my kindness

Not realizing that they need me more than I need them most the time.

I hate it when people take advantage of my kindness.

16👍 4👎

When life gives you assholes...you make lemonade

Life rarely gives you lemons but assholes are given aplenty. So this would be the more accurate version of the old saying.

A: That was really classy how you solved that argument with your boss.

B: Yep I had to, I had to be the bigger person you know despite ogf him being an asshole. You know "When life gives you assholes...you make lemonade"

27👍 13👎