drop the kids off at the skate park

The unfortunate circumstance where you have to take a dump in a dry toilet bowl. The

empty bowl represents a skate park, and is similar to the way kids skate in an empty swimming pool.

1st Dude: Dude, my water was off this morning. How 'bout yours?

2nd Dude: Yeah, trying to get ready for work was tough. I had to drop the kids off at the skate park, instead of the pool.

My dick fell off

Is a meme that is used in joke

For example if someone says my dick fell off it mean most likely and hopefully a joke

get off my stick

get off a penis
get outta my face or in my business

guy 1:"man, come on let me see your homework"
guy 2: "get off my stick" or " get off my motherfuckin long ass fat ass five dollar foot long ass dick(penis)"

took our shoes off

a slang term used to mean having sex, derived when a group of students were talking about sex and making up random slang terms, the terms coffee and tea were also used in this group

hey man me and this chic... we went all the way... we took our shoes off and everything dude

Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast

when someone is ruining something and telling you that what you are doing is wrong, not to help you out, but for no apparent reason. As a response you tell them to not jerk off on your breakfast.

I was having a great morning, but then Benji had to ruin my morning by telling me that the Giants were 1-7 so I told him "Please Benji, from now on, Don't Jerk Off On My Breakfast"

Get Off Your Golden Couch

A phrase simaler to "Get off your high horse."

Said to someone apologizing who is only doing so to put on a show for the public, rather than because they genuinely regret their actions.

Original coined by the Youtube channel "Observe" when referring to Jeffree Star, who made a public apology whilst sitting pretentiously on a golden couch, showing off his wealth to a large audience.

Sure, I'll believe him when he gets off his golden couch.

Oh, you must be so sorry, sitting on that golden couch of yours.

This is such clear BS. Get off your golden couch!

get down off your soapbox

In the days of early politics after 1776, long before television and radio, political candidates would stand on wooden boxes, often ''soapboxes'', in the town square in order to address large crowds. The term soapbox stuck, and ever since then has been used in instances when somebody tries to preach his or her personal views.

There goes Mary trying to tell everyone how to live, I think I'll tell her , ''Get down off your soapbox''.