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A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!
EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.
EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!
EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."
EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
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A person who talks a lot but doesn't say anything.
You sound like a guy with a paper asshole. You don't know what you're talking about.
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Someone who has the kind of face that makes you think "This guy's a total asshole!"
Uh-oh, there's asshole face, coming to ruin all the fun.
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A drinking game where in all cards are dealt out to three or more players. The players then in turn either play a card if the rules permit or drink alchol.
The first player to play all of his or her cards is declared the president the last is declared the asshole.
PLayers play there cards by placing them in the center one on top of another. In general a player may play one of his or her card if that card is of higher value than the last card played. If no player can play a card then the center pile is removed and the player who played the last card may now play a card of any value.
Under many variants of the game cards have special values or powers. Under some variant the President of the preceeding game may choose to alter or create special values for some of the cards.
Common special powers include:
-2s clear the pile. Player may play any card
-4s may be played on any card and are considered transparent
Lets get drunk and play asshole.
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A "person" who offers to pick up a beverage or snack from the kitchen while they are in there and then conveniently forgets to bring it back to you.
I guess I'll go get a soda, looks like Kitchen Asshole strikes again.
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BBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGG
My asshole is the blackhole🍑🍑🍑
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Cutting slack for your friends when they have had a hard time. Asshole passes should be given sparingly, don't be a doormat. Most asshole passes last about a week, then your friends get sick of your bitching.
Sophie: "Britney is such a bitch today!"
Laura: "Her cat died on Friday, give her an asshole pass"
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