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We all remember that day when we learned what cancer was, but my parents in particular did excruciatingly well telling me that half of my mom's side of the family had cancer and that they were going to eventually die. In fact, I think she first told us(me and my brother), at the ripe age of 4 and 2, that our grandma had stage 3 breast cancer and was going to die. She didn't even tell us what cancer was, for fuck's sake. And the consequence of that was me going on for another 8 years thinking cancer was instant death and that different parts of your body could get it.... Like, what the fuck? And then turns out my Grandpa had prostate cancer, so that was fun, but not as lethal. Another one of my great-uncles had ball cancer AND lung cancer. I can only pray that I don't share any of their fates, but I think one of the reasons she escaped it was because she went to med school. Definitely not me, so I can only hope.
Mother: Son, your grandma is going to die.
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is
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The Ben Shapiro guy from fairly odd parents is the pixie Sanderson from fairly odd parents and he looks like Ben Shapiro
Omg it's Ben Shapiro guy from fairly odd parents
Omg Ben Shapiro man from the animated show fairly odd parents
8đź‘Ť 3đź‘Ž
Remember that time your mom called you fat? Or that time your dad said you’re worthless? Its time for them to apologize! Only on December 31st!
“Mom, it’s National parents-apologize-for-trauma-they-put-their-kids-through day, you know what that means? You’re a horrible mother that doesn’t care about their child’s feelings!”
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The more sophisticated “Ur mom gay”. Used to destroy anyone giving you shit.
Alex: “Yeah! Well! Ur mom gay!”
Me: “Your non-binary parental guardian has a fursuit fetish.”
Alex: *Literally fucking explodes”
7đź‘Ť 68đź‘Ž
When the thought of having children scares you because of the multitude of problems that could occur from the timeline of their birth to adulthood.
Spouse: want to have kids?
Me: Umm...sure.
Spouse: are those tears of joy?
Me: no tears of anxiety. What if something goes wrong?
Spouse: thats called pre parental anxiety. I understand.
Pre-parental anxiety is what modern day parents worry about when deciding whether to have children or not. Its a composite of anxieties about multiple issues including about societal shifts, climate change and FOMO about regretting not having children later on but not having the option available then.
Male partner: I'm not sure if I want to have kids, there are so many people already in the world today and limited resources. Plus I like enjoying our kid-free time right now.
Female partner: I agree, but if we wait too long and then decide we want them in 10 years, it might be difficult later.
Male partner: Its pre-parental anxiety.
Sugar daddy. Or sugar mommy, as the case may be.
It would be politically correct to call him her sucrose parent instead of calling him her sugar daddy.