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Definition:
A broke, balding, middle-aged man with a superiority complex and zero self-awareness. He’s got a wife he resents, kids he ignores, bills he doesn’t pay — and yet somehow believes 22-year-olds are waiting to DM him first. Lives off others but calls himself "misunderstood." Sends horny texts like he’s auditioning for a sex cult no one asked for. Thinks being horny = having value.
Signature Behaviors:
Slides into DMs with “hey beautiful 😏” like it’s still 2006
Claims to be “deep” while emotionally abusing everyone around him
Uses his wife's EBT card to buy Red Bulls
Gets mad when women don’t flirt back
Believes showering is optional but sex is a right
Known Aliases:
Fernando, Lonnie, Lon, Alfredo, Alfonso, Matt, Alan, Aaron, Reggie
(If he has two Facebook accounts, run.)
Symptoms Include:
Thinking his penis still has a fan base
Calling himself “real” while gaslighting you
Bragging about sex he’s not having
Fearing accountability more than jail
How to Treat:
Block, delete, heal. Then write about it so others don’t fall for it.
“He’s not just a deadbeat — he’s a Creep Creeping Past Expiration.”
“He’s a creep creeping past expiration — too old to be doing this, too pathetic to stop.”
“Creep creeping past expiration — like spoiled milk that thinks it’s still got charm.”
“He’s not aging gracefully — he’s creep-creeping past expiration like an old sandwich someone forgot in the sun.”
An Old, Short, Shriveled up waste of space that is meant to be considered part of the team in the workplace. They tend to suffer from Mystery Sickness and usually have disfigured cretin followers.
"Urghh I hate working with ****, he's such a Creeping Rat Cunt!"
when a certain food is super spicy but not immediately after the first bite. It takes a few bites for the heat to set in. It creeps up on you
Man, one wing ain't that bad, but after five or 6, it really hits you with that heat creep
A 6th sense most have about whether people are a creep or not.
"Oh my god some guy just asked for selfies and my address my creep radar is going off"
Sarcastic term used in the submarine fleet, mostly by forward submariners, to describe the slow takeover of aft “Nukes” and their nerdy engineering culture of nerdism. They over think everything and make life miserable and difficult, unless you’re a Nuke! Nukes are famous for being the golden children of the boat, exhausting procedural compliance to the Nth degree, a requirement culture of working near the reactor and engineering spaces. Besides finding their rack for sleeping or the mess decks for eating, these top tiered Nerds know nothing about the forward half of the boat, control spaces and weapons areas. Junior officers graduating to division officer jobs up forward, try “creeping-nukism” philosophy on such admired and prideful Torpedo Divisions, who put the smack down on such tomfoolery without prompting.
TMSN Shmuckatelli: “Chief, the Div-O wants me to make the weekly training to include a 100 question test, with a matrix for scoring, on a 7 vector scale, 3 calculus problems, a 5 part numbering system, an illustrated prt breakdown of 10 drawings, and definitions to require clinical laboratory expertise beyond normal automation to perform”.
TMC Ragan, “Dont get hoodwinked or bamboozled by the creeping nukism, they work harder to get out of work, instead of just doing the work.”
Sarcastic term used in the submarine fleet, mostly by forward submariners, to describe the slow takeover of aft “Nukes” and their nerdy engineering culture of nerdism. They over think everything and make life miserable and difficult, unless you’re a Nuke! Nukes are famous for being the golden children of the boat, exhausting procedural compliance to the Nth degree, a requirement culture of working near the reactor and engineering spaces. Besides finding their rack for sleeping or the mess decks for eating, these top tiered Nerds know nothing about the forward half of the boat, control spaces and weapons areas. Junior officers graduating to division officer jobs up forward, try “creeping-nukism” philosophy on such admired and prideful Torpedo Divisions, who put the smack down on such tomfoolery without prompting.
TMSN Shmuckatelli: “Chief, the Div-O wants me to make the weekly training to include a 100 question test, with a matrix for scoring, on a 7 vector scale, 3 calculus problems, a 5 part numbering system, an illustrated prt breakdown of 10 drawings, and definitions to require clinical laboratory expertise beyond normal automation to perform”.
TM Chief, “Dont get hoodwinked or bamboozled by the creeping nukism, they work harder to get out of work, instead of just doing the work.”
A tactical creep is when one is unsure of their situation romantically, whether it be at the start of a relationship, during flirtatious conversation or even 4 years down the line when it's nearly too late to turn back.
This involves using social media to browse through the person's photos, just reassure oneself that what they are about to do/are doing/ or will never do, is satisfactory.
Dean - I had to go on a tactical creep last night.
Owen - Why so?
Dean - Just to reassure myself that the girl I was talking to didn't look like Rocky Dennis.
Owen - That's tactical man.
Dean - Oh yeah.