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All you Rugby guys are crazy. Put an NFL running back on the rugby field and he will score every time he touches the ball. When you compare the 2 athletically, football players are bigger, stronger, can jump higher, can run faster, and can catch better. They wear pads cause they hit 10 times as hard.
The Rugby player was angry to learn a football player had been fucking his wife, but could do nothing about it because he would get his ass kicked.
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A popular American sport that in many small backwater communities is more important than justice and the proper education of the players.
My brother was in a car accident caused by two high school football stars. He got 100 stitches and one eye. They got one year at juvie AFTER football season ends. Damn you american football!
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A internationally irrelevant sport that is very boring to 99% of the planets population. THe only reason Americans care so much about it is because they invented it and its part of their culture. Kind of like how Japanese people carea about sumo wrestling and no one else does. Another similarity between American football and sumo wrestling is the overweight "athletes". In this sport, a 350lb tub of lard can be considered a "star".
American: The whole world watches the Superbowl!!
Englishman: What a "superbowl"? Some kind of fruit salad?
Brazilian: Huh? Sorry never heard of it..
Italian: Don't know what that is.
INSERT NATIONALITY HERE: WTF is american football? Looks like a pussified version of rugby with padding.
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Originally Rugby, American Football is by far one of the best games ever invented. It involved 11 players on a rectangular 100-yard field fighting over one ball. Now I know everyone else's definitions, and they are terribly politically incorrect.
1. Football is a "pussy" sport because we wear pads. We wear pads because we are so strong and powerful that without pads we'd kill each other. Back in the early 1900's dozens of people died each year playing football. Europeans never had this problem because they are not as strong as Americans.
2. It is not a "slow" game, nor does it spend 15 minutes between every play. If you've ever played football, you would know it is one of the fastest games ever played in 10 seconds. Within those ten seconds you exert all the energy you have, unilke pussy soccer where you run around for a couple hours like a chicken with their head cut off.
"The soccer game is on man."
"Why would I watch a bunch of Brits run around in short shorts? It's Monday night and a real man's game is coming on."
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American Football is the name given to a mass homoerotic orgy masquerading as a sport. It is only exceeded in man-loving gayness by the similar psuedo-sport of Wrestling. The main objectives of American Football are to:
1) Provide an extended opportunity for exceptionally fit and muscular men to run toward each other and proceed to grope and hug one another.
2) Provide many opportunities for selected football players to watch their spandex-wearing cohorts bend over and symbolically pass a turd-shaped object through their legs.
3) Provide an excuse for the entire football team to get naked together and shower in private.
Most players of American Football like their sex-play rough, as is evidenced by the nature of their activities while dressed up in fetish-wear for the occasion. Padding is used, particularly around the shoulders to give the men an exaggerated look of masculinity that adds to the raw erotic power they display to both their teammates and the opposing team.
Surprisingly, most participants and fans of American Football do not embrace their obvious homosexuality as readily as they embrace other participants/fans. Most will even deny any hint of homoeroticism inherent in the activity, despite its gaiety being greater than that of most civic Gay Pride parades. This paradoxical aspect is thought to enhance one's enjoyment of the activity, and could perhaps be seen as a type of role-play where gay men pretend to be heterosexual while engaging in or watching one of the most gay activities ever devised.
Man 1: "Did you see that American Football tackle!?"
Man 2: "Come here, you!!"
Other Man 1: "I'm going to the American Football game, dressed in a satin jersey because I like the way it rubs against my nipples when I cheer."
Other Man 2: "I'm going to the American Football game wearing seductive and sexy bodypaint over my exposed torso."
Other Man 3: "Come here, you guys!!"
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Nathan: Did you watch the American football last night?
Lawrence: Is that the sport where men of questionable sexuality covered in plastic jump on top of each other.
Nathan: Yeah, apparently they throw a 'ball' around as some sort of cover for the whole thing.
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A great sport that ignorant europeans and australians don't spend any time watching.
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